London 2012 Olympics: Coca-Cola and McDonald's will weep at absence of ... - Telegraph.co.uk

And if he simply concluded that, at 37 and short of competitive sharpness after the sojourn in Los Angeles, Beckham could do nothing to help Britain to win gold, this is absurdly illogical.

If Beckham was 97 and took to the pitch strapped to a motorised commode, how would that affect the chances of a British team – a British team, as Neil Kinnock would reiterate it for dramatic emphasis – winning a football tournament?

In fairness, there is an argument to be made in support of Pearce's decision, and Oliver Brown made it with prescience, elegance and eloquence, though without delving into rhyme, on this page on Thursday.

Even so, I must take issue with the headline, which read: Sorry David, but you are no true Olympian. For what is Beckham if not the truest of Olympians ... and in three distinct ways?

1) He worked his golden balls off to get the Games to London in the first place, and toiled tirelessly to imbue them with his lustre.

2) His entire England career was a homage to the old maxim about it not being the winning that counts, but the taking part.

And 3) Since the paramount purpose of the Olympics is of course to boost the global profits of Coca-Cola and McDonald's (could Pearce be a Trojan Horse for Pepsi? Or a Burger King sleeper?) who better to represent that spirit than this fearsome commercial powerhouse?

Beckham reacted to the slight with typical dignity, but the irony of being overlooked for one of the over-age places in favour of Micah Richards must rankle.

Richards is only eligible because he didn't travel to Euro 2012, having grandly declined a place in Roy Hodgson's back-up squad; whereas Beckham would have crawled to Ukraine on his knees for a shot at being a 93rd-minute substitute.

Since the rejection of such a mighty patriot constitutes a prima facie instance of cruel and unusual punishment, all may not be lost. The British Olympic Association, traumatised by the loss of its leading publicity-generating banker, should injunct the entire Games, pending an appeal, on human rights grounds. Taxi to Strasbourg, for a Mr Geoffrey Robertson QC ...

Failing that, it may not be too late for Beckham to appear in another discipline. Assuming that Sarong-Wearing, Tattoo Display and Chillin' With The Tom Cruises haven't been added to the roster of demonstration events, a martial art comes to mind.

If the taekwondo people want to soothe public resentment over the second weirdest omission of the 2012 Games – their refusal to pick world No 1 Aaron Cook – they know who to call. If that would present a danger to Beckham's health, so be it. Only one British footballer alive would willingly risk himself for his country, and it isn't Micah Richards.