U couldn't make it up

For David Cameron, getting a policy nearly right in the wrong way is ­something of a speciality.

Ken Clarke's plan to reward criminals who plead guilty by halving their sentences would be an insult to victims – a Get Out of Jail Free card for offenders caught red-handed.

But U-turning Mr Cameron shouldn't pretend that he didn't have a clue what the Justice ­Secretary was up to – the ill-judged plans were discussed and approved by a Cabinet committee.

The incredible number of reversals performed by the Conservative-led Coalition point to an incompetent government groping in the dark until the glare of public hostility forces it into another humiliating retreat.

The Labour administration was chaotic in its death throes. But Mr Cameron's Government is badly misfiring early.

He's undoubtedly skilled at the meet-and-greet of politics but when it comes to ruling effectively, he is repeatedly found wanting.

The half-sentence scam should be ditched completely and immediately.

The spin from Mr Cameron, a PR man running a country, no longer masks his basic errors of substance.

Bonus onus

BANKERS are taking us for a ride.

And the Tory-led Government – serving as it does as the political wing of the City wide-boys – is at best sitting on its hands and at worst giving a green light to greed.

It's a scandal that taxpayers' money is ­apparently subsidising bonuses in the bailed-out banks when they fail to hit lending targets despite public support enabling the institutions to borrow cheaply for themselves.

Yesterday's Treasury committee hearing highlighted how it is back to business for unaccountable bankers.

No wonder the bosses are laughing all the way to the bank.

Crocodile 999

POLICE who stumbled across four crocodiles in a house left in a hurry.

Well, in the heat of the moment, sometimes you have to make a snap decision.