Queen Elizabeth with Prince Charles. Source: Supplied
THE Queen may be a doting granny now, but her children remember her as a stern mother who was away for long periods of time because of her royal duties.
Her first child, Prince Charles, was born at Buckingham Palace on November 14, 1948, when the Depression-era emphasis on a child's physical needs was changing to include emotional development.
One royal biographer reported that the atmosphere surrounding the birth of Charles had a "refreshing informality".
"His father had a workout in the palace squash court and pool while Charles was on his way, and was ready to bound in to the Princess with a huge bunch of red roses and carnations," writes Elizabeth Longford in Elizabeth R, published in 1983.
Elizabeth's workload was cranking up in preparation for her to succeed her ailing father, King George VI, who died on February 6, 1952.
Like her mother, she insisted on breastfeeding her first born but it wasn't long before his nurse, Helen Lightbody, took complete charge of him, Nicholas Davies writes in Elizabeth: Behind Palace Doors (2000).
"It seems extraordinary today, yet, within three months of his birth, Elizabeth had begun her strict routine of only seeing Charles twice a day, for an hour after breakfast in the morning and for a further 30 minutes each evening around 6pm. Otherwise he never saw his parents," Davies writes.
"Helen Lightbody and nurse maids were given absolute responsibility for bringing up the heir."
Davies says it wasn't that Elizabeth didn't love her baby boy, it was simply the royal way. Later in his book, he writes: "Elizabeth never changed a nappy or bathed any of her children."
Prince Charles, Queen Elizabeth (later Queen Mother) Princess Margaret, Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, King George VI, Princess Elizabeth, later Queen II and Princess Anne as a baby. Picture: Troy Bendeich Source: Supplied
But Longford contradicts him in Elizabeth R, writing that she "always romped with them after tea, bathed them and put them to bed herself".
Davies writes that Prince Philip's attitude to child rearing verged on the Victorian.
"Philip would ... frequently administer corporal punishment, usually with his hand on Charles's backside," he writes.
Prince Philip, however, was often away at sea as a naval officer in command of his own ship.
Davies says that Andrew and Edward, born in the 1960s, were given more freedom and their relationship with Elizabeth and Philip was more open, but there were many regrettable absences.
The then-princess missed Charles's third birthday and was on the 1953 Commonwealth tour when he learnt to read.
The expectation is that Kate will have a hands-on parenting style like Diana, but will be firmer and more stable
The royal couple, however, had a modern attitude to education.
Prince Charles was sent to a day school, Hill House School in West London, from the age of eight and then boarding school - breaking custom - at Cheam.
He was the first heir to the British throne educated away from home, instead of by palace tutors.
In the documentary Elizabeth: Queen, Wife, Mother, to mark the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, Prince Andrew revealed that parenting was divided 50-50 - he learnt responsibility and compassion from his mother and discipline and duty from his father.
The Queen has said she regretted not having the chance to rear her children.
Actor Kate Winslet revealed last month that, while bestowing a CBE on her, the Queen asked whether she enjoyed her job.
"I told her that I loved it, but I love being a mum even more," Winslet said.
"Yes," the Queen replied. "That's the only job that matters."
DIANA was determined to be an affectionate, hands-on parent and bucked many a royal tradition.
But she also had an emotional parenting style and, like many of her generation, tried to be a friend rather than parent.
She gave birth to Prince William at a public hospital, St Mary's in Paddington, rather than Buckingham Palace, as was tradition.
Diana made William her priority over official duties, which Charles supported, wanting to see his children grow up in a way he had not. He was at William's birth and changed his nappies, according to the book, Prince William: Born to be King.
Diana reportedly suffered post-natal depression, but it may have been because of tensions with Charles.
She defied advisers and took nine-month-old William on an official visit to Australia, though this was to be the only time one of her children went with her on overseas tour.
Her children grew up in Kensington Palace, less austere than Buckingham Palace, where Charles had grown up.
A happy Kate and William. Source: Herald Sun
There were four nannies but Diana was still heavily involved.
In an article in The Sun in 1984, royal watcher James Whitaker wrote that Diana gave William his breakfast each day, took him to kindergarten and often spent time with him there.
"If she has to be parted from William or Harry for any length of time, she telephones daily to talk to them, or at least to listen to the squeaks and giggles on the other end of the line," he wrote.
"The princess also tries to plan her life so that bathtime (is) uninterrupted until after a goodnight story has been read."
Diana spent a lot of time teaching William to read. What she couldn't protect her children from was her marriage breakdown.
"The reality was that Diana was not always as warm and demonstrative in private as she was in public. Away from the cameras, the boys saw the extremes of her moods and were often frightened and bewildered by them," author Penny Junor writes in Prince William: Born to be King.
William became his mother's closest confidant, "soul mate" and "chief comforter", according to Vanity Fair's Christopher Anderson in 2003.
Elizabeth never changed a nappy or bathed any of her children
He details an incident when eight-year-old William slipped tissues under a bathroom door to his crying mother after she had argued with Charles.
Diana wanted her sons to have as normal an upbringing as possible. She rejected Charles' alma mater, a Scottish boarding school, for Eton College, a prestigious public boarding school near London.
She also wanted them to be compassionate and caring. While Charles took the boys hunting, fishing and riding, she took them to AIDS clinics and homeless shelters.
"I want them to have an understanding of people's emotions, of people's insecurities, of people's distress, of their hopes and dreams," she said.
It seems to have worked. Both sons display great sensitivity during their visits to charities and hospitals, and they often incorporate affectionate tributes to their mother into their public events.
THE expectation is that Kate will have a hands-on parenting style like Diana, but will be firmer and more stable.
A friend told Us Weekly this past week that the duchess will be a nurturing mother, but also willing to discipline her child.
The Prince and Princess of Wales, Diana and Charles, with their baby son William in Alice Springs. Picture: File photo Source: HWT Image Library
"Kate will be a firm but fair mother," the unnamed friend said.
This reflects the emerging parenting style of Generation X, which Australian parenting expert Michael Grose says has seen the behavioural problems caused by "best-friend parenting".
ABC News royals consultant Victoria Arbiter predicts that Kate, like Diana, will give birth in a hospital, especially if she continues to have complications.
William and Kate will also strive to give their child a normal upbringing, following Diana's lead.
"Kate will let her children have fun and freedom, but she will also make sure they do what is best for them," her friend said.
The Duchess of Cambridge has the advantage of being in a loving and long-term relationship with William and their child will grow up in a more relaxed environment than William did with his parents.
Kate also brings maturity and life experience to her parenting role.
She is 30, while Diana was 20 when William was born and the Queen was 22 when Charles was born.
But Grose says the royal couple face a big learning curve and may turn to parenting experts for help.
"Many of William and Kate's generation have less experience of being around children because they have grown up in smaller families and haven't been exposed to helping care for younger siblings," he says.
"They are often more needy and dependent on other people to assist them. That's why there is such a burgeoning parenting industry right now."
Their choice of a nanny will be crucial.
They may want to be hands-on parents but the demands of public life means they will need a trusted nanny to instil their values, discipline and provide a loving environment.
It's uncertain where the child will spend its first year.
The couple are scheduled to move into Kensington Palace next year, but are renting a farmhouse in North Wales, close to RAF Valley, where William is a search-and-rescue helicopter pilot.
"I think William would most definitely like to stay in the military for the early years of his child's life, because he would be able to spend a lot more time at home than as a full-time working royal," Arbiter said last week.
"I think their life in Wales is so wonderful. It is closeted, it is private.
"They are left alone in Wales and they aren't really bothered. I think they would like to stay in Wales as long as they can."
Grose predicts the royal couple will follow the lead of celebrity couples and take their children with them when touring.
He also wonders if, like US President Barack Obama, they will maintain regular mealtimes with their children.
"What Obama and his wife, Michelle, also did - and here's a challenge for Kate - they made sure the kids did things for themselves, even though there were servants and butlers around," he says.
That seems likely given William liked cooking for himself and made his own bed, according to Penny Junor, the author of the biography Prince William.
Kate is the first future queen to have a degree and she enjoyed sport at school, so it's logical that she'll be involved in her child's education and encourage them to play sport.
"I think they will be good parents, based on all the signs you pick up from their general demeanour," Grose says.
"One of the aspects about parenting that I look at, something most people overlook, is the sort of the family framework that is provided.
"What's the family atmosphere: is it tense, is it serious or is it more laidback and fun?
"And I'd suggest that they will provide a more laidback and fun atmosphere for their kids."
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