Hugh Grant's joy at fatherhood makes him a thoroughly modern man - The Guardian

Hugh Grant's announcement that at 51, he's delighted to have become a father for the first time is a refreshing change to the way in which celebrity men often handle "surprise" births. The baby girl was born to actress Tinglan Hong – 19 years Grant's junior – following a "brief" relationship. Grant hasn't announced he's planning to marry Hong, nor has he (yet) clarified how much time he will spend in his new daughter's life. He wasn't even present for her birth, choosing instead to have been at the Labour party conference in Blackpool.

So what's refreshing? Wealthy and powerful men have been having one-night stands that lead to babies for aeons; there's nothing novel about Grant's behaviour. But as with so many things with Grant, it's not what he does that makes him unusual – it's the way he does it. When he was arrested with Divine Brown in 1995 in what may have been a more easily shocked era, what stunned and impressed so many was Grant's candour about his own stupidity. He didn't warble on in a passive voice about how "mistakes were made"; he went on Jay Leno and said "I did a bad thing". Few scandal-ensnared stars have shown such grace and maturity since.

There's very little scandal about an out-of-wedlock birth any more, and while Hong is much younger than Grant, the age gap isn't horrifying. Grant has no need to apologise, at least not to the public – but he also had no obligation to express delight and pleasure at the arrival of this little girl. That he chose to do so doesn't just say something about him, it says something about rapidly changing attitudes towards fatherhood in our society.

Men today, more than ever before, expect babies to change their lives. Fathers can't simply outsource all the caregiving to mother, grannies and nannies as they once might have done – or they can, but they'll face public opprobrium. When even the prime minister talks about his devotion to his children (there's no reason to believe his claims are false), it's clear that the modern father is not the sort who keeps his love private. He's expected to be both bowled over and involved. We know that Grant is the first; we'll be watching to see if he's the second.

For many men, like Grant, parenthood comes much later in life than it did for their fathers. Not only are birth rates falling across the industrialised world, but the average age at which men become fathers has skyrocketed (as has the average age at which women first give birth). In America and Europe, more than half of first-time fathers are over 30, a threshold only recently crossed and a trend that shows no sign of reversing. Older fathers are, at least much of the time, more emotionally aware. They are more likely to have wondered if they ever would become parents, more likely to have considered the possibility that it "might not happen". They are less likely to be self-absorbed and still finding themselves; they are also more likely to be present in the lives of their children.

As he so often has, Grant has found an unusual way to capture the zeitgeist. His anti-phone-hacking activism and his courageous willingness to go after the worst and most powerful offenders against privacy have made him a hero. Some may find his self-deprecation tedious on screen, but his off-screen sense of outrage and moral purpose increasingly makes up for it. In the matter of his new daughter, Grant could have issued the standard line about this being a "private family matter". He chose not to do so, instead taking the opposite tack by expressing unabashed delight.

Grant's sincerity will be tested. His enthusiasm for his newborn must be matched by a financial commitment to care for the little girl, as well as the willingness to be involved in her upbringing. If his proclaimed devotion is just for show, it will be a disappointment to his fans and a heartbreak for his daughter. Much remains to be determined. But for now, his joy about becoming a father – even in an unconventional way – marks Grant once again not only as essentially decent, but as a most representative modern man.