Tintin, Poirot, Jean-Claude Van Damme. The 'Famous Belgians' riff is as hoary as they come, as ancient as the Manneken Pis, only not so amusing. Firstly, and indeed lastly, was Jacques Brel not enough for you people? Did Belgium not put enough into the pot with him alone? Yes. Yes they did, is the answer to that question I've just asked.
Nevertheless, the conceit was surely pushed further towards complete redundancy at Medinah Country Club yesterday, when Belgium unveiled another world-famous face in Nicolas Colsaerts. The 29-year-old from Shaerbeek was simply outstanding in the afternoon fourballs, making sure Europe kept hold of the USA's coattails in the 2012 Ryder Cup, at least by the tips of their fingernails. While those around him were being annihilated as the Americans went on a fourball spree, Colsaerts and Colsaerts alone stood up and decided that, nah, he wasn't having any of it. Shooting a round of 10 under par with his own ball, he single-handedly faced down a resurgent Tiger Woods - who had started the day flaying drive after drive into thickets hither and yon like a rank amateur, but ended it like the 14-time major champion he is - securing a crucial point for a desperate Europe.
The Belgian's hapless playing partner Lee Westwood was, to borrow a phrase from the aforementioned Brel, putt-putting in a stupid-ass way. If only he didn't have the yips for just one little hour. But Westie wasn't alone in failing to turn up for Europe. Only Colsaerts, Ian Poulter and Rory McIlroy are in moral credit for the visitors, although in fairness Justin Rose and Paul Lawrie have shown flashes too.
The Americans, on the other hand, were simply outstanding from top to bottom. Bubba Watson, Webb Simpson, Dustin Johnson, Matt Kuchar, Zach Johnson and Jason Dufner were all immense, though the stars of the show were Woods, Phil Mickelson and Keegan Bradley. Woods spent the entire morning, and a good portion of the afternoon round, playing like a complete clown. But he came so close to putting a stop to Colsaerts' rampant gallop, playing superbly down the home stretch. Mickelson also stepped up to the plate when it counted, closing out his foursomes match when McIlroy was threatening to steal a cheeky half. But neither could compare to the pumped-up Bradley, who spent all day draining crucial putts, punching the air, and running around in large semi-circles with a massive grin on his coupon, then expressed a desire to go straight back out and do it all over again for another 36 holes.
He's had to wait until the morning for his next playtime, poor lamb. But he'll be out on the rampage again soon enough. What a player. Here are the line-ups for the Saturday morning foursomes:
7.20am CDT / 1.20pm BST: Bubba Watson & Webb Simpson v Justin Rose & Ian Poulter
7.35am / 1.35pm: Phil Mickelson & Keegan Bradley v Lee Westwood & Luke Donald
7.50am / 1.50pm: Jason Dufner & Zach Johnson v Nicolas Colsaerts & Sergio Garcia
8.05am / 2.05pm: Jim Furyk & Brandt Snedeker v Rory McIlroy and Graeme McDowell
No Tiger this morning, you'll notice. Meanwhile for Europe, Jose Maria Olazabal sticks with Lee Westwood, a brave/foolish decision, depending on how nice/realistic you are. Westwood really owes his captain a shift, this is loyalty beyond the call. But all eyes will be on Bradley and Colsaerts, though. Who needs Ryder Cup experience when you can play like those two rookies?
Anyway, Europe really, really, really, REALLY, REALLY need a good morning session here. Can they drag themselves back into the 39th Ryder Cup Matches? A slow start today, and this could be all over. But they're due some performances, and a strong showing will really put the cat among the pigeons. It's the Ryder Cup, folks, it's guaranteed to be quite a ride one way or the other. Ladies and gentlemen, my beautiful Americans and pretty Europeans, this is ON!!!
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