CBI sketch: Boris Johnson does the business - Telegraph.co.uk

Gaily he burbled through a list of the goods and services that Britain – well, mainly London – offered the world. Divorce lawyers, for example. "I have no shame whatever in saying to the injured spouses of the world's billionaires: 'If you want to take him to the cleaners, darling, take him to the cleaners in London!'"

The capital, he went on, exported bicycles to Holland, mosquito repellent to Brazil, tea to China, Piers Morgan to America. It even had more Michelin-starred restaurants than Paris. "Yes! A fact too good to check!"

If, like a spoilsport, you do indeed check, you will of course find that Paris has comfortably more Michelin-starred restaurants than London. But to a Boris audience, mere accuracy is beside the point. He could declare that London offers the world's hottest beaches and no rain for 11 months of the year, and everyone would cheer all the more loudly.

He did make a couple of more serious points. It was time to end the "rhetoric of austerity"; also, stricter immigration controls would be "a barrier to growth". Two things Number 10 didn't want to hear. Whether his audience wanted to hear them, I'm not sure. I suspect they mainly just wanted to hear him say "Schlosses" again.