Royal Wedding Watch: The Royal Bridal Party Is Officially Announced - Vanity Fair

The royal wedding of Prince William and the future Princess Catherine is just a few months away. From the daily barrage of tabloid folly, VF.com's Royal Watcher in London plucks the best for your wedding crib notes.

• Here comes the bride, with her wedding party: the bridesmaids and groomsmen are Lady Louise Windsor, daughter of the Earl and Countess of Wessex, aged 7; the Honorable Margarita Armstrong-Jones, daughter of Viscount and Viscountess Linley, aged 8; Miss Grace van Cutsem, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Hugh van Cutsem, aged 3; Miss Eliza Lopes, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Harry Lopes, aged 3; Master William Lowther-Pinkerton, son of Mr. and Mrs. Jamie Lowther-Pinkerton, aged 10; and Master Tom Pettifer, son of Mr. and Mrs. Charles Pettifer, aged 8. For best man, Prince Harry nabbed honors—and for leggy lady number two, Pippa Middleton will be her sister's maid of honor.

• The South African discount airline Kulula has announced that it will be using a portion of the profits from every flight booked from now until the day before the wedding to buy royal cows for Kate and Will. Apparently, it's part of a South African tradition called a lobola, similar to a dowry, except the onus falls on the man—and of course it's also a publicity stunt to lure the royal couple to honeymoon in South Africa. It's perfect—I can't tell you how many times I've changed my travel plans based on the number of bovine on offer.

• So many girls dream of opening a letter or finding a clue that reveals their connection to a real-life royal, but so rarely does that happen, unless your name is Rapunzel, Snow White, or, apparently, Ellen DeGeneres. Post from the New England Historic Genealogical Society—"which, of course, I thought was from my lady doctor," Ellen cheekily told E!—informed the talk-show host that she and Miss Middleton are 15th cousins. Given Ellen's recent gift of vibrating nipple pads to Jennifer Aniston, we are eagerly awaiting the wedding present.

• Damsel in distress, anyone? A British scout troop set off some alarm bells after organizing a rather bizarre outdoor exercise around a mock kidnapping of a Kate Middleton impersonator by some balaclava-clad baddies. Then an actor posing as William challenged the young adventurers to "help him find his princess." This is wrong on so many levels; I don't even know where to begin. Share your thoughts in the comments.