Jacqui Smith must think there's one porn every minute - Telegraph.co.uk

My more cynical side wonders whether she keeps stamping up the dust surrounding the porno-flick scandal to deflect attention from the fact that she claimed her sister's spare room was her primary residence. Mind you, this could just be sour grapes. As the former editor of an erotic journal, I used to be the sort of person who presented high-minded radio documentaries about pornography. Little did I expect a home secretary to steal the crumbs from my table.

* Belt-tightening is the theme de nos jours, and I'm not surprised to learn that 58 per cent of parents with one child say they're too daunted by the cost to contemplate having another.

This is never truer than at half-term, when the most modest diversion seems to cost a small fortune. The Daily Telegraph's cover price is splendid value compared with the £2.20 extorted for my older son's Doctor Who magazine; I can only presume their foreign correspondents are all based on Gallifrey. Then there's the £58 for my boy to do an arts and crafts course. When you add the DVD of Despicable Me, the mini Lego figures and the giant packs of Hula Hoops, I'm not sure whether to weep or be grateful that I gave birth to my second son before I'd worked out the full cost of the first.

* In future, I'll restrict my spawn to the nation's many splendid free attractions. One that's been slightly off the radar is Bunhill Fields cemetery, the non-conformist burial ground just off Old Street, which contains the mortal remains of John Bunyan, William Blake and other free thinkers, and has just been listed as a Grade I site of historic interest.

If your child is of a macabre turn of mind, as mine are, you can continue the theme with a brief trot down to Postman's Park, where a Victorian philanthropist established a memorial to unsung Londoners who died trying to save others.

Commemorative plaques detail the tragic ends of these heroes and heroines, such as David Selves, aged 12, who in 1886 "supported his drowning playfellow and sank with him clasped in his arms". Even more dramatic was the demise of Sarah Smith, pantomime artiste, who "died of terrible injuries received when attempting in her inflammable dress to extinguish the flames which had enveloped her companion".