18.48 Lots of chat surrounding the future of Leeds's Robert Snodgrass. The latest rumour is that Blackburn have made a bid for the winger.
18.34 From Chris Daniels, a Wigan fan from Warrington.
Please get Spurs to buy Rodallega from Pie-land. We need a striker pronto as he's been awful this season. We'd have anyone, just anyone. We'd consider Adrian Chiles or even Christine Bleakley as a direct replacement.
Meanwhile, from Dee-Wayne Jaftha, a Chelsea fan:
I'm a fan of Chelsea FC and I think it's time Ferreira and Malouda moved on. I have been following a German player who would be a great player under AVB, Lewis Holtby! C'mon AVB, start spending and stop teasing...
18.31 It's a DONE DEAL. Blackburn have signed Bradley Orr from QPR. That's two points for Mark Dezelsky, and another point for Ross Gylby. James Tavernier's loan move from Newcastle also earns Carl Smith his first point.
Leaderboard
QPR - Ross Gylby 10
Chelsea - Dan Jackson 7
Sunderland - Itwassoeasy 7
Blackburn - Mark Dezelsky 4
Arsenal - Jack Organ 2
Bolton - Eric David 2
Manchester City - Len Hoare 1
Manchester United - Dee-Wayne Jaftha 1
Newcastle - Carl Smith 1
Norwich - Alex Johnston 1
Tottenham - Phil Lewis 1
West Brom - Chris Gannon 1
Wolves - Oliver King 1
Aston Villa - John J Nicholson
Everton - Peter Hughes
Fulham - Adam Parsons
Liverpool - Nik Teovosky
Swansea - Brendan Collins
Stoke - Twinmaker
Wigan - Sam Wingrove
18.24 King's College School in Wimbledon have finally unleashed their big dog. Here's head boy Kira Mirshahi.
As Head Boy of King's College School, Wimbledon, I have been reliably informed that one Mario Gotze is having a medical in our school gymnasium... for Chelsea FC. Our current Head of Physical Education is right now examining the German dynamo. I am tasked with the job of touring Mr Gotze around our school campus. Breaking news Mr Liew. Breaking news. My contacts in the Physical Education department have informed me that there is a direct swap of Jose Bosingwa plus £10million for Borussia Dortmund's Mario Götze from Chelsea to Borussia Dortmund. Interestingly, Jose Bosingwa has yet to leave for the chilly Dortmund whereas the German dynamo is right here in King's College School, Wimbledon having a medical. As per your namedrop of 'Calum McQuater' from my school on your esteemed blog, I humbly request a further namedrop: 'Kiya Mirshahi - Headboy of King's College School' accompanied with the plausible (and true) news of Mario Götze's medical at King's College School. You have my word, Mr Liew, that my minions will back off from their barrage of emails I am sure you are currently under. Please grant us this request and we will leave your deadline day in peace. Please. You will make a stressed 17 year old very happy.
No, I didn't read all of that, either. Emails from 17-year-old boys have a very 'Dear Diary' quality to them, don't you find?
18.21 Several of you have pointed out that it is indeed Martin Jol, not Mark Hughes, who is the Fulham manager. Mental aberration. I apologise for that. It's slightly embarrassing when you get a simple detail wrong, but about forty times more embarrassing when you do it trying to make a joke. Meanwhile, Manchester United fan Robin Hall on who should be in the club's out-tray:
Man United to sell Anderson. Why? Because he is absolutely useless, did he not used to be a member of S Club 7?
I don't think he did, no.
18.18 We're hearing Adrian Mariappa has turned down the chance to speak to Wigan.
Sean Dyche: Adrian, it's Wigan on the phone for you.
Mariappa: I'm not speaking to them.
Dyche: Well, what if you just listen?
Mariappa: I'm not listening to them either.
Dyche: I'll just put it on speakerphone.
Mariappa: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I'M NOT LISTENING.
Anyway, that'll put Newcastle back on alert for sure.
18.05 Here's your Bundesliga transfer window round-up from Alex BZ in Berlin.
The transfer window in Germany ended almost a hour ago, with very few incoming deals made, and almost no money spent. Although we tend to have the majority of our inter-Bundesliga deals sorted in summer windows, when Vedran Corluka on loan is in the top three deals of the day, you really realise it's not worth getting excited about - we rely on the Premier League in January!
The only possible excitement will stem from outgoing deals. Tottenham have made enquiries about a number of Bundesliga players, most notably Marko Marin, of Werder Bremen, and Mohammed Abdellaoue, of Hannover. I cant really see that Tottenham need a player such as Marin currently, since he is a lightweight version of Rafael Van Der Vaart. He has definite talent though. Abdellaoue, however, is an interesting prospect as a striker who can play both 9 and 10 - he is a natural finisher, strong both in the air and on the floor, and has got 10 goals in 16 games for unfashionable Hannover this season. They value him highly though, so it will take at least €13-15m for a deal to be possible for the Norwegian.
The possible draw (or wage budget) of QPR or Fulham for Michael Ballack has seemingly not been enough - his agent released a statement a couple of hours ago that he will stay at Leverkusen until the summer. The Cottagers will complete the signing of Pavel Pogrebnyak though, subject to a work permit, which should be a formality.
Stunning. Alex BZ, you are summarily assigned to take over this blog for the next six hours.
18.00 Keisuke Honda is wanted by Lazio, who have made an offer to CSKA Moscow for the playmakery-free-kick person. CSKA Moscow have said no. Lazio now want Nilmar from Villarreal. I'm aware that's something of a non-sequitur.
17.57 Alistair Mavor wants to be left alone for the rest of the day.
The girlfriend just called and I stupidly told her I was busy watching SSN.
She asked: "Why you busy? Have you got time to talk?" (Meaning, we need to talk.)
I said: "No, not really cos I'm watching SSN and its transfer deadline day."
Her reply: "Oh, what's that?"
My reply: "It's like the January sales, you know, shopping but for football."
"Oh right, thats sounds interesting" she replies.
Wow, you're like a character from a television beer advert. I've always wanted to meet one of you.
17.54 Simon Loome is an Ipswich fan.
Ipswich are hopefully selling/giving away/begging to be relieved of their whole defence; they only get in the way of the TV cameras showing other teams scoring against us anyway.
I've got a real soft spot for Ipswich that remained undimmed even through the Roy Keane years. Partly it's the fact that it's a well-run club that's patient with its managers, even when they are, unfortunately, Roy Keane. Partly it's the fact that it's a nice ground, close to the train station, that serves sensational jacket potatoes with home-made chilli con carne in the press room. I suppose it's a form of glory-hunting.
17.51 Back to the continent, and Lucho Gonzalez is about to complete a move from Marseille to Porto for about £1.6 million, having been signed in 2009 for £15 million. Marseille manager Didier Deschamps has said the move was in order to cut the wage bill, but that they could not afford to lose any more players. This is what he said earlier today:
We could sell 10 players, then what would we do? Set up a pizzeria?
17.47 James Tavernier has followed Alan Smith by going from Newcastle to MK Dons on loan for the rest of the season. He's probably not on £60,000 wages, though.
17.45 Calum McQuater from King's College School, you naughty little scamp. This is probably the worst transfer hoax ever.
Interestingly, my reliable Russian contact has informed me that Anzhi Makhachkala have launched a two-pronged attack to bring Emile Heskey and Ade Akinbiyi to Russia.
The really tragic thing is that you probably Googled the correct spelling of Makhachkala.
17.44 What else? Stuttgart striker Pavel Pogrebnyak has completed a medical at Fulham and is now waiting on a work permit. Pogrebnyak has had warm words to say about his current team.
After I was not in the squad against Monchengladbach, I immediately expressed a desire to leave the club. The Stuttgart bosses have behaved like pigs, and I did not want to stay with this club for one second longer.
Um, OK…
Everyone said that I was one of the most active players. And in the last game I was not even on the substitutes' bench. I'm sure they just wanted to provoke me and force my departure. I then phoned my manager and said: "We must part now."
Well, good luck with him, Martin Jol.
17.42 Sorry for the delay, folks, a few technical issues. In fact, not even a few. Just one humongous technical issue. But we return with some BREAKING NEWS!
Ravel Morrison, we're hearing, has completed his medical at West Ham and is at Upton Park to sign on the dotted line. East London, prepare to lock up your daughters.
17.16 Harry Redknapp, meanwhile, has hot-footed it from Southwark Crown Court and climbed into a waiting taxi. He's on his way to Tottenham v Wigan tonight. "White Hart Lane, please," you imagine him telling the driver. "And have you got a fax machine in here? And does this window open?"
17.14 Fleetwood Town news. No, come back! This is sort of intriguing. According to Sky, both Leicester and Southampton have had £1 million bids rejected for striker Jamie Vardy. I was in Fleetwood a few weeks back, and the reverential hush in which they spoke of Hardy was really quite something. Still, a non-league club turning down £1 million for a striker? Either Fleetwood are loaded (they are) or they must really, really rate Vardy (they do).
17.11 David Pizarro has landed in Manchester ahead of completing a loan move to Manchester City.
17.08 Andrew Barton has thoughts on this evening's burning question.
As a Villa fan, I think I probably speak for most fellow fans in saying that waving goodbye to Heskey would be lovely. As much fun as it is poking fun out of him, he's getting in the way of less poke-worthy centre-forwards.
Meanwhile, someone called Patrick, presumably a Fulham fan, has sent a one-word email:
Ruiz.
17.01 Meanwhile Mike Norrish, the big dog of telegraph.co.uk/sport, has dug up a picture of Sky's Jim White presenting something called Late Edition back in the 1990s. Hold on to your hats!
16.58 Peter Barnes has sent an email with a photo attached.
Frankly this transfer window is about as inspiring as the view from Canadian office window.
That's a little bit lovely.
16.57 Foreign bits and bobbins!
Brazilian midfielder Thiago Motta has moved from Inter Milan to Paris St Germain for about £10 million. Vincenzo Iaquinta has gone from Juventus to Cesena on loan for the rest of the season. Meanwhile, remember a young, quick, sort-of-quite-good player called Alexander Hleb? These days he's not so young, not so quick and really not very good at all. He's been linked with a move to Olympiakos. Hleb still plays - although the term 'plays' is used somewhat misleadingly - for Barcelona, and his last spell on loan at Wolfsburg was blighted by injury.
16.53 It's all go at Crawley, who lost star striker Matt Tubbs to Bournemouth yesterday. You wouldn't exactly expect them to sit on their hands, and they've gone and signed Blackpool striker Billy Clarke. But, not all good news for everybody's least favourite League Two moneybags. It appears Peterborough have bid around £1.9 million for other star striker Tyrone Barnett and midfielder Kyle McFadzean. Could be an intriguing evening at the Broadfields. Don't rule out Steve Evans headbutting the fax machine, or similar.
16.49 Rangers have confirmed that they have had a bid for Norwich striker Grant Holt turned down. Leicester bid about £2 million for him back in the summer, and Holt's stock has risen modestly since then, so Rangers would probably need, on the basis of some completely arbitrary maths, to double that if they want to get him.
16.45 What does the transfer window look like? You'll notice that's not the burning question any more, I've replaced it, but here's Dave Windridge's mental scrawl:
The Arched window… the king of the Playschool windows.
This is becoming the most surreal conversation thread we've ever had. We're learning a good deal about you people today.
16.44 Aha! A decent 'Spotted' rumour. It's been a while since we had one of those from somebody over the age of 14... Over to you, Andy Holgate!
Just seen Adam Johnson leave the Lowry Hotel in Manchester to head towards Liverpool. Rumour has it he will be at Goodison Park later with the rest of the team as they take on Everton tonight. How do Everton plan on paying for Johnson? He's worth at least £10m and Everton have about £4.53 and a few mints to spend on players.
16.40 Phil Brown in the SSN tepid-seat isn't happy. "Why would they arrange Premier League fixtures on transfer deadline day? It almost looks like a Premier League conspiracy." Yes, because the Premier League fixture list is far less important than watching young men in hoodies arriving at training grounds in their cars.
16.37 Liam Ridgewell on his move to West Brom:
It's a good club, good set of players and a good manager. I'm not going to comment on Birmingham's future. I'm just glad to be at West Brom. Hopefully get the team going, move up the league, and, um, hopefully get going.
Still, he's not being paid to talk, which is probably just as well.
16.34 Alex Johnston has a transfer request.
Could you please change the picture of Pizzaro? Whenever I visit it I think Norwich have signed Romario.
16.32 Rangers are hoping to sign Cameroonian forward Matthew Mbuta. Mbuta has arrived at Murray Park in his Cameroon training kit to face what must surely be his first Sky Sports News car-window interview. The exchange goes thus:
Q: What sort of player are you?
A: A forward.
Q: What do you know about Rangers and what are you expecting?
A: I know it's one of the best teams in Scotland.
Q: What's the manager said to you?
A: As for now, nothing has been said yet.
Not exactly the UK Citizenship Test, is it? More like the Bridge of Death in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
16.23 Wigan have been given permission by Watford to speak to Adrian Mariappa, with the proviso that they make sure he's home by 10pm, without any love bites.
16.18 "Ridgewell could at least have had a wash," writes Chris Gannon. "He looks like he's let a 5-year-old draw all over him."
16.15 £40,600,000 spent so far today, according to Sky's big screen display, which has been displaying the total at regular intervals, like on Comic Relief. Of course, that's just transfer fees. That doesn't include wages, signing-on fees, agent fees, medical fees, relocation fees, Nando's fees, and the like.
16.11 Thanks to Thom. Outstanding display. Hello, everyone. Much happening?
16.08 That's it. I am out of here. Thanks for your company. I'm putting you in the capable typing hands of Jonathan Liew. Be careful with your fingers when the transfer window SLAMS shut in less than seven hours time.
16.06 SIGNING ALERT!
Liam Ridgewell has joined West Brom on a two-year deal from Birmingham.
Is this a Cheesy Signing Picture?
I'm not so sure. Bit tasteful, isn't it?
I'm going to allow it. Seven sweepstake points for Chris Gannon!
16.04 Oh dear, the last three emails I've received have all been making that Harry Redknapp / Zaha / Saha joke. I regret publishing it earlier. I fear it had probably jumped the shark already at 13.23.
16.00 I think we can all sympathise with the tone of desperation that Bolton correspondant Eric David demonstrates here:
15.55 Come on, one more Cheesy Signing Picture. You can do it, football. The good news, Deadline Day Sweepstake fans, is that Jonathan is going to keep the competition going! Here are the current standings:
Loads of points
QPR - Ross Gylby 9
Chelsea - Dan Jackson 7
Sunderland - Itwassoeasy 7
Some points
Arsenal - Jack Organ 2
Blackburn - Mark Dezelsky 2
Bolton - Eric David 2
Manchester City - Len Hoare 1
Manchester United - Dee-Wayne Jaftha 1
Norwich - Alex Johnston 1
Tottenham - Phil Lewis 1
West Brom - Chris Gannon 1
Wolves - Oliver King 1
Nil points
Aston Villa - John J Nicholson
Everton - Peter Hughes
Fulham - Adam Parsons
Liverpool - Nik Teovosky
Newcastle - Carl Smith
Swansea - Brendan Collins
Stoke - Twinmaker
Wigan - Sam Wingrove
15.52 Jonathan Liew has arrived. He will soon be taking over. This is for the best. I've been watching Sky Sports News for so long that this is how he looks to me:
He's saying Adam Johnson to Everton. Woof. I would like that, Everton would suddenly look Quite Good.
15.48 SSN presenter says this: "Now let's drag ourselves away from deadline day for a minute and concentrate on the cricket." Errrm... No?
15.43 The final part of the long, drawn-out Djibril Cisse to QPR saga. I feel like it's all I've written about in the last hour.
Some words from the big man, and the news that he is available to play for Rangers against Aston Villa tomorrow, subject to international clearance:
I have unfinished business here in England.The English league is the best in the world. It is the league that suits me the most. I'm really happy to be here and I can't wait to repay the Club's confidence in me, to get back to where I want to be as a player. I will always give one hundred per-cent and I can't wait to start playing games.
15.40 Here's Dan Jackson on Chelsea:
This deadline day for me is very much like our season – starting off strong, standard mid season wobble! Hoping for a strong finish! Come on boys, lets get a couple more in, cheeky bid for Modric? Spurs clearly have lost it signing Saha!
15.35 Some Twitter talk on "betting suspended" on Louis Saha joining Tottenham. That doesn't really tell us anything, though, does it? Just means it looks very likely as it stands. Who knows what might happen in the coming hours? Harry Redknapp might realise it's no longer 2006, for instance. Jermain Defoe to Liverpool too, apparently. First I've heard of that. Am just dipping my fingers into the salt bowl on my desk and taking a small amount of it with that news.
15.32 You wait for hours for a Cheesy Signing Picture of Djibril Cisse and then two come along etc. etc. etc. etc. here. he. is. with. the. home. shirt. and. with. significantly, more. pixels. this. time:
Not sure about that angle. This does not mean five more sweepstake points for Ross Gylby.
15.29 IT'S THERE! We have a Cheesy Signing Picture of Djibril Cisse!
It's not the best quality, but let's not worry too much about that. That gives it an illicit, breaking newsy feel, don't you think?
Here he is:
Thank you to emailer Humphrey Price. Seven gigantic points for Ross Gylby, putting him in the sweepstakes lead.
15.26 Here's Nikica Jelavic arriving in a CAR at Everton:
15.23 Jonathan Tasker isn't sad about the possible departure of Louis Saha from Everton:
I am laughing hysterically that anyone of a sane mind and constitution is prepared to take Louis Saha off us. Am guessing they won't bother with a medical - Saha and medical is an oxymoron. See you Louis and please don't come back ever. Meanwhile it would be nice if Everton announced the Jelly deal.
15.21 I can almost smell that Djibril Cisse Cheesy Signing Picture:
Here he is at Loftus Road, wearing a quite spectacular jacket:
(thanks to Clive Whittingham for the heads-up)
15.17 Apologies for the recent lack of updates. The computer system: she had a panic.
She's recovered now. THIS IS THE NEWS:
• Verdan Corluka has joined Leverkusen on loan from Spurs
• Ryo Miyachi has also made a loan move, from Arsenal to Bolton
• Sortirios Kyrgiakos is having a medical at Sunderland
• Liam Ridgewell is very close to becoming a West Brom player
14.56 Djibril Cisse, who I'm still infuriatingly yet to see gingerly holding up a QPR shirt, has said a public goodbye to Lazio. It's not particularly encouraging news for QPR fans:
I'm sorry if I've been a disappointment to some people, but I want to say that I've always given 100 per cent
14.54 Kristopher Lomax says the following:
Saha would be as much use to Tottenham as Peter Crouch would to the New England Patriots.
Now I don't know a lot about American Gridironball Kris, but I think Crouch would make a pretty good tight quarterreceiver, no? On the special de-fence teams? With a touchdown field goal punt? No? I'll stop now.
14.50 Arsenal correspondant Jack Organ is trying to wheeler deal (?) his club into some action:
I'll warn you now Jack: it's not very nice. I will give you a bonus point for a good tweet, though. Well done.
14.46 PLAUSIBLE TWITTER RUMOUR ALERT:
Saha to Spurs could pave the way for Steven Pienaar's return to Goodison Park.
NON-PLAUSIBLE TWITTER RUMOUR ALERT:
Darren Bent is joining Arsenal.
ROY HODGSON ALERT:
Peter Odemwingie is not for sale, and West Brom have not had any enquiries for their Nigerian striker.
14.44 Gino Tabacchi is displeased:
If the Saha to Spurs rumour is true, I think I'm going to be sick. Not exactly showing ambition to Modric now is it?
Well it depends what sort of ambition you're talking about Gino. The ambition to implode and come sixth: GREAT! The ambition to play in the competition with the song that goes "theChampionnnnns!": NOT SO GREAT!
14.40 Steve Kean sounds pretty confident that Chris Samba is going nowehere today. Oddly, I believe him.
14.37 Here is the selection of sweet treats I have bought myself to help me power through to handover o'clock. I think I might have lost it a bit:
Nickica Jellyvic, eh? EH? Yes, I've definitely lost it a bit.
(Yes, we have Telegraph-branded jelly here. What of it?)
14.34 So once Jelavic has had the curtain dramatically pulled off his head and been formally unveilled at Everton can Louis Saha join Tottenham? I think it's one of those domino deals. I've got the frustrating feeling that it's going to start kicking off when I hand over this liveblog in an hour and a half. Saha to Spurs is bonkers, isn't it. Everton supporters: am I wrong in saying he's been useless and lazy this season?
14.29 West Ham as well. What are they up to? Ravel Morrison and Nicky Maynard are probably enjoying a lovely pint of jellied eels with a pie and mash round the old joanna by now. Why haven't we seen a picture of them larking about with a man dressed as a hammer? This is not good enough.
14.22 Getting a bit annoyed with Everton, QPR and Blackburn now. Everyone seems to be in agreement that they've all-but signed Jelanic, Cisse and Orr respectively, but where are the official announcements? Where are the empty "This club has got a great history" words? Where are my beloved Cheesy Signing Pictures? Come ON!.
14.18 Wow, some earth-shatteringly shocking giant news in my inbox from Joe Rankin:
I've just been in one of Manchester's two restaurants, and saw Carlos. He said he's back at City, for good this time, and he said all is well. I took this actual, real picture on my phone.
Why aren't SSN reporting this?! I scooped you, Rupert. I scooped you good.
14.14 Arsenal have signed a player! Great news! How will he slot in to Arsene Wenger's Emirates revolution? It says here he's a left back and he's played for England and he's... oh.
14.06 QPR take the prize for the first loitering fans of the day. Three young chaps are doing some bad dancing behind Sky's warm coat merchant. There's another man close by who looks old enough to know better.
14.02 Jeremy Wilson sounds a note of caution for any Arsenal fans that are getting excited about Andrei Arshavin leaving today:
13.58 Matt Ryce has sent me a picture to explain what the transfer window looks like in his mind's eye:
A picture tells a thousand words. Or in this case: four.
13.56 If you're the sort of person that gets excited about Sunderland signing players on loan you're having an absolutely brilliant day. Here's our own Luke Edwards:
13.52 Wigan chairman Dave Whelan sounds like he quite fancies selling Hugo Rodallega to Spurs. He's been speaking to ESPNsoccernet:
We are used to Tottenham making a last minute bid on transfer deadline day, and by last minute, I mean the very last minute. I have seen Spurs linked with Rodallega for some time, but we have not received a bid, not even an inquiry as far as I know. That doesn't mean they won't make a bid, but if they do they always leave it late, very late. It might make sense to cash in now. But if he stays with us to the end of the season he can help us stay up, which would be worth far more than a transfer fee.
On Andy Johnson, Whelan said:
I've no idea why Johnson said no. I think he didn't fancy coming north. It would have been a good deal for us, but that's football.
Ahhh, so that's what football is! Players not wanting to come to Wigan. That. Is. Football.
13.50 A DEAL HAS BEEN DONE!
Wayne Bridge has signed Sunderland on loan until the end of a season. Here's what Martin O'Neill has to say:
I'm hoping that with Wayne's undoubted experience and ability he can be a big help to the team until the end of the season. I'm very pleased to have him here and with the number of injuries we've sustained recently I'm sure he'll be a great help to us.
and...
wait for it....
wait for it.....
Olé! The full seven sweepstake points for a person whose Twitter handle is Itwassoeasy!
13.46 We've been so starved of Cheesy Signing Pictures so far today that I've done the unthinkable. I've resorted to thinking about Scottish football. Here's Dundee United's new recruit Milos Lacny squatting and looking all moody from a MySpace-style camera angle:
Nice haircut. Nice jacket. Nice face.
13.40 I've made the naive mistake of encouraging mischevious schoolchildren and am now paying the price by being bombarded with increasingly wacky transfer rumours from teengers that should probably be learning which verbs take etre instead of emailing me at Kings College Wimbledon. You can recreate the effect by typing the following and replacing the XXXs with a past-it footballer and the name of a large European city: "Interestingly my contact has just seen XXXX in XXXX". Think of 10, email them to yourself, bob's your uncle: you're Thom Gibbs. I wouldn't normally be so vain as to refer to myself in the first person, but please keep in mind that I've now been watching Sky Sports News for almost six hours straight.
13.36 Sometimes in this line of work you get an email that you can't not reproduce. This has just happened. Over to Houssam Asilla:
The window: It's like 20 dogs of all kinds running into a mountain of bones of all kinds. You can get as weird a catch as a chihuahua with an elephant's rib...
Wow.
13.33 It was all "oooh, Owen Hargreaves, oooh, crossing the divide" in August. Today we have the exact opposite of that move, in that it's a player moving the other way and one whose knees aren't made of an especially brittle sort of clay:
Manchester United are on the brink of snaring former Switzerland Under-17 skipper Frederic Veseli from Manchester City. The 19-year-old is still to make his debut for City and it appears United have stepped in to sign the defender.
13.29 We've hit deadlock in the Transfer Deadline Day Sweepstakes. A couple of quick Cheesy Signing Pictures and that could all change Here are the current scores:
Seven points
Chelsea - Dan Jackson 7
Two points
Blackburn - Mark Dezelsky 2
QPR - Ross Gylby 2
One point
Manchester United - Dee-Wayne Jaftha 1
West Brom - Chris Gannon 1
Wolves - Oliver King 1
Norwich - Alex Johnston 1
Nothing. Nothing at all
Arsenal - Jack Organ
Aston Villa - John J Nicholson
Bolton - Eric David
Everton - Peter Hughes
Fulham - Adam Parsons
Liverpool - Nik Teovosky
Manchester City - Len Hoare
Newcastle - Carl Smith
Stoke - Twinmaker
Sunderland - Itwassoeasy
Swansea - Brendan Collins
Tottenham - Phil Lewis
Wigan - Sam Wingrove
If you've got any valid queries with my scoring you can email me to take up your issue at nothanks@notinterested.co.uk.
(If I've actually missed anything blatant my real addess is at the top)
13.27 Look at this, it's a liveblog actually proving its worth as real-time medium for news delivery! Northern expert Luke Edwards has a Mariappa update:
13.25 A bullish Alan Pardew, fighting back the tears, says this on Mariappa:
We've made our final bid. If he doesn't come today he probably won't come at all. In summer we'll probably look elsewhere, to be honest.
Wow Alan, you sure know how to make a potential central defensive recruit feel loved.
13.23 TREMENDOUS USE OF TWITTER ALERT:
13.19 Newcastle, have HAD ENOUGH, and issued their ABSOLUTE LAST OFFER for Watford's Adrian Mariappa according to Alan Pardew. If it's not taken he's going to storm back home to his flat, accessed by a secret door in the rear of the Angel of the North, and spend tonight softly weeping while stroking a sticker of Mariappa from this year's Football League Superstars collection. It's unclear whether Pardew's talking about one of the bids he's already had rejected, or he's just made a bid which will be his final bid. More on this thrilling semantic point as we get it.
13.15 Let's taken a second to salute the true hero of Transfer Deadline Day:
Yes folks it's the humble fax machine. God bless you, plastic-y pre-internet behemoth of last-minute deals.
13.11 It would seem that the hardworking bored pupils of King's College Wimbledon are on their lunchbreak as their incorrect transfer rumours have returned with a vengeance. Here are three of their best offerings:
Roy Keane and Teddy Sheringham seen at Carrington discussing personal terms over potential move back to Old Trafford, will be taking up a player-coaching role with Paul Scholes
Pep Guardiola in talks with Titus Bramble over possible move to Barca as cover for an ageing Carlos Puyol
Interestingly a contact at Heathrow has seen Heskey on a direct plane to Milan
I especially like the use of "interestingly" and "a contact" in the last one. Keep it up until at least Double Chemistry after lunch.
13.07 Did you know there are a bunch of actual football matches tonight? Wolves v Liverpool. Man Utd v Stoke. Spurs v Wigan etc. Has Transfer Deadline Day lost its magic now that Premier League games are taking place on the same day? What has the world come to when the greatest Transfer Deadline Day in the world is taking place as some cheap sideshow to a set of Premier League fixtures? I think the day lost its importance when Manchester United were allowed to take place in a meaingless Fifa-sanctioned World Transfer Deadline Day competition in Brazil in 2000.
13.04 Bit concerned about Mr Big Coat outside Loftus Road. Sky cut to him. He is silent briefly. Then looks up and says:
Ah. Helicopter. We always look for helicopters on transfer deadline day. No, no. It's flown past. Carlos Tevez won't be coming, then.
Did he inhale a lungfull of mind-altering milky smoke?
13.02 SSN seem pretty sure that AC Milan are definitely definitely definitely RIGHT BACK IN THE HUNT for Carlos Tevez. Their man loitering outside the training ground says "There is rumbling, there is movement," which sounds less like a description of a possible transfer than a possible bowel movement. If the tiresome Tevez business is indeed finished today the scene in the Telegraph Sport office will be a lot like this:
12.56 It's well-known man with three names Mark Charles-Isaac:
What does the Transfer Window look like? A large pizza- baked to perfection, then dipped in a bucket of water, left on a customer's plate, and then thrown out in disgust. It's garbage, this transfer window nonsense, is it not?
Careful Mark, you're talking about mine and dozens of Sky Sports' employees' livelihoods there.
12.52 Middlesbrough have turned down a £6million bid from Bolton for defender Rhys Williams. What's the matter, Bolton? Sold your best central defender and realised his American replacement isn't up to much, have you, Bolton? Oh I'm really sorry BOLTON.
12.50 If I don't see another Cheesy Signing Picture soon I'm going to be very disappointed indeed. I'm also in the market for a Surreal Loan Abroad (cf. Joe Cole), a Confirmed Panic Buy (cf. QPR's proposed business today) and a Drunken Oligarch Splurge (cf. Torres, Robinho, Shevchenko).
12.46 Good news for West Brom supporters from our sweepstakes correspondent Chris Gannon:
As the man in the know, I can confirm Odemwingie is going nowhere. He's locked in Woy's cellar and will be released at midnight.
12.43 QPR (I'm not biased, they're just doing 80 per cent more than any other club today) have quietly let go one-time capital-letter LEGEND Martin Rowlands. He's left the club by mutual consent after a sorry time since the arrival of Neil Warnock almost two years ago. Goodbye Martin. You were a top, top player. Top top top top top top. Literally. Top.
12.40 Harry Redknapp has cleverly negotiated with the nice men and women of Southwark County Court and secured the services of their office's fax machine this afternoon. He made need it, Spurs are reportedly interested in a loan move for Louis Saha. Once again this is firmly from the transfer drawer marked "WHAAAAA?" Saha has been awful, awful, for Everton this season.
12.37 Here's your friend and mine Ross Gylby on his mind's eye transfer window:
I see myself in an auction but not any auction. I surrounded by metal gates, posts and bars. To my right is a man in a flat cap and wellies, he has an elongated face and a vacant expression. To my left, in the same ensemble, is a man clutching a P60 looking forlorn with droopy cheeks and his son by his side. In walks a man holding a rope and on the other end of said rope is a cow with the face of Carlos Tevez printed on its side! Eureka!! A cattle auction! The man holding the rope lifts his head... ROBERTO MANCINI!!! Silence... Then the auctioneer calls NEEEXT!!!
12.35 Difficult-to-folllow tale coming out of West Brom. Zamora is leaving Fulham, apparently. Fulham fancied Lucas Barrios to replace him, but that's fallen through, so are now talking about Peter Odemwingie. Have they not seen him play this season?
12.33 SSN are saying that Anzhi Makhachkala are in preliminary talks to sign Arsenal's Andrei Arshavin.
12.30 Here's our man Jeremy Wilson on the fineprint on a potential contract for Bobby Zamora at QPR:
I'm hoping his contract also includes a clause that states he has to run around enough to at least give the slight impression that he's mildly bothered about football. His Fulham deal clearly lacked such a stipulation.
12.25 Don't worry everyone, I was just getting some lunch. Unexpected cash machine queue was my undoing. What have I missed? Oh wait, that's my job. Hang on... BREAKING NEWS! WHOOSH! The SSN man outside Rangers' training ground says they might be making a bid for Norwich's Grant Holt, who is apparently their top target to replace Jelavic.
12.16 CONFIRMED MOVE:
Phil Brown has replaced Alan Curbishley in the out-of-work manager's chair in the SSN studio.
12.10 Here is I F Wilson on his imagined transfer window:
It's the middle of the ocean and I am on a big big big boat I don't own. It's some Russian dude's. Never met him, haven't eaten for days and there are sharks everywhere. One piece of bait leftm, I've used all the others up, no luck yet. The fish are there somewhere but which fish will take the bait? If I get this wrong I'm dead. Some of the fish are nasty blighters but if I get the right one I'm ok. But which one? If I get this wrong i'm dead, one chance, one chance. Right, bait's ready, start fishing, sweating, caught one, yes......... cook it............... yes.............I'm ok..................................It's a Carroll fish ..........I'm dead.
12.08 Everton have oficially confirmed that they've agreed an officially confirmed fee with Rangers for Nikica Jelavic, Everton have confirmed. Officially. We sort of knew this already, but still: it's been oficially confirmed.
12.06 A sweepstake bonus point for this from Norwich correspondent Alex Johnston:
12.00 Carlos Tevezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz news: AC Milan are back in for the stiker, apparently. Please let it be over soon. QPR's Matt Connolly has also joined Reading on loan. Do loan moves count in the Transfer Deadline Day Sweepstakes? I think: yes.
11.54 Hats off to Paddy Power (other bookmakers are available) who have opened a market on the first cliché that SSN presenter Jim White will utter today:
Excellent. Clearly it's a PR stunt that's looking for coverage in places like this, and clearly I am giving them exactly what they want.
But, you know, sometimes there are good PR stunts.
Spotter's badge to Nick Soper.
11.49 Good news for QPR (or bad news if you're a fan of financial stability) via Jason Burt:
11.47 Here's Chelsea new boy and extremely young-looking man Kevin de Bruyne:
Three years ago I was playing with the young guys in Genk, but now I am making a transfer to Chelsea. It's almost impossible - a real dream come true. To come to a team like Chelsea is a dream but now it's a reality and I have to work hard to achieve the level that's necessary. It's a few steps (up). Chelsea is one of the biggest clubs in the world and if you see the level they have compared to Genk then it is a real difference but it's something I want to achieve and I will work very hard to get there.
I signed now and now I will go back for six months on loan to play some games and gain more experience. Next season it would be normal to be loaned out, but I will start the preparations here at Cobham, and if it goes really well maybe I will stay but probably it will be a team a little level less than Chelsea but bigger than Genk. I am patient. It will be very hard to play in the beginning but if you can train with these guys you will get to a better level than in the Belgian league for sure.
11.44 ...and what the hell, another bonus point for QPR correspondent Ross Gylby for making me giggle with this email:
I hope the smell of burning milk doesn't put Cisse off! I have alot riding on that cheesy signing photo.
11.42 The first bonus point of the Transfer Deadline Day Sweepstake goes to West Brom correspondent Chris Gannon for this scorching red-hot untrue rumour:
11.39 I'd now like to issue a personal appeal to the students of King's College Wimbledon to stop emailing me dubious transfer rumours and get back to concentrating on your school work. If you don't put in the hard hours now you'll never get the qualifications you need to anchor Sky Sports News and get really excited about Hugo Rodallega probably not leaving Wigan.
11.37 More from London from our man Jason Burt:
City want the £2m plus they paid for the striker whose wage demands may also be an issue should a deal be agreed between the clubs. City are determined to cash in on the 25-year-old before his contract expires at the end of the season.
Maynard has already turned down the chance to sign for Wigan Athletic. West Ham might move for Maynard having, it appears, finally missed out on striker Eder from Portuguese club Academica who did not board a flight, as he was expected to, to London last night.
11.34 All places are now takebn in the sweepstakes. About 100 people suddenly really wanted Fulham. Baffling. That's more than their normal travelleing support. There list of teams and participants below has now been updated.
11.30 Sweepstaker and Arsenal correspondent Jack Organ:
Woohoo I have the easiest job! Arsenal never do anything in January! Here's hoping we steal Ba.
Is he very young and unkown, Jack? No he's not, Jack. Good luck with that, Jack.
11.28 Dramatic scenes at Loftus Road! SSN's man outside is reporting that it's raining ash, and Djibril Cisse is close to... Hang on. Raining ash?! Yes, apparently. There's a big fire at the Unigate dairy just down the road. There are road closures, and the partial cessation of business in a gigantic shopping centre. A man dramatically runs past the reporter. Erm... is Sky's man in danger? Never mind, he's back to telling us that QPR are in the hunt for more, more, MORE before the window closes. I get the impression he's going to keep his spot outside the ticket office until the bitter end. He'd go down with his ship. That's how much he loves Transfer Deadline Day.
11.24 Would you like to hear a song about Transfer Deadline Day from the website Fitba Thatba? Of course you would:
11.21 Spurs correspondent Phil Lewis:
Pavlyuchenko having medical at Anzhi, 'I always wanted to play alongside Eto'o' #THFC. Not confirmed, but doing the rounds on Twitter.
11.18 DONE!
Blackburn have signed winger Marcus Olsson on a free transfer from Halmstad on a two-and-a-half-year deal.
11.15 Alan Curblishley has been in the SSN studio for as long as I've been watching this morning. He's only being called upon once an hour. He seems tired, and sad. The manager's natural habitat is glued to the phone and/or leaning out of a car window on a day like this.
11.10 Jason Burt has boiling hot striker-based news from West London:
It had been thought that Fulham would not sell to QPR – partly because of the acrimony between them and Hughes after he left last summer – but Jol is close to lining up a replacement for Zamora with Russian international Pavel Pogrebnyak from Stuttgart for £3m although that deal might go down to the wire over work permit issues.
Fulham may also offload Andrew Johnson – who is out of contract this summer – today if another replacement is signed. He is understood to have already turned down a move to Wigan Athletic with QPR failing earlier in this window with a £2m bid for Johnson. No fee has yet been agreed for Zamora but QPR are close to signing Djibril Cisse off £4m to create a new strikeforce.
As a QPR supporter, I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm actively sceptical about Zamora. He's looked so unintereted when I've seen hi
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario