How Simon Cowell crushed the dream of a 13-year-old girl - The Guardian (blog)

I have always loved Simon Cowell for his honesty – the way he tells people straight whether they are good or bad. To me, he has always been a bit of a god, someone who could get you anywhere, music-wise. So last summer, aged 12, I applied for Britain's Got Talent, with a dream: I wanted to make something of the harp.

In October I had my audition in front of the judges. In the holding area I sat by an old man with a suitcase full of live cockroaches that he was eating for his performance, two rollerbladers (one in swimming shorts), some line dancers and a man who was reciting lines from Gladiator.

It was scary waiting to go on, sitting in the wings for hours while a guy warmed up the audience: he was getting them to fever pitch and they were already shouting "Shit! Shit! Shit!" I was the second act. I was told that I would have five or 10 minutes after the first act to get ready but the rollerbladers got buzzed off in seven seconds and then Ant and Dec were saying: "Go, Hero!"

Hero Melia playing on Sky's Must Be The Music show in 2011.

The crew had gone over and over with me where my head was to be when I played and as soon as I was on stage I realised why. I was looking directly at Cowell, who yawned and rolled his eyes before I had even sounded a note. He kept it up the whole way through my performance. The trouble with a harp is that it's difficult to move so I was stuck looking at him while performing in front of nearly 2,000 people. I had wanted to do one of my own compositions, which I'd played at the audition, but had been told I should do a cover, so I did Run by Snow Patrol. I was lucky: the audience loved it. I got a standing ovation and cheers all the way through. Alesha Dixon wiped away a tear, David Walliams said I was amazing, so did Amanda Holden, but Simon's evil stare continued. I suspect he had made up his mind about me long before, as I could see him looking at notes when he gave me a "No" and said that the harp didn't do it for him; it was old-fashioned. The audience started to chant: "Harp up, Simon!" I tried to stand up to him and said that what I want to do is show that the harp can be used like a guitar for contemporary music.

I came off stage wanting to cry but I had got three yesses, so had to leap up and down acting happy in front of the cameras with Ant and Dec congratulating me on being through to the next round. But last month, the night before I was due back on BGT, the phone rang: I had been dropped. I had wasted half my half term getting ready for that. Cowell shatters dreams and yet I so wanted to impress him.

I still want the harp to be the new guitar; I hope I can do it.