England v South Africa – live! - The Guardian

Right, this appears to be working again. I know. England are now 117 for four from 23 overs, needing 161 from 27 overs.

WICKET! England 90-4 (Bopara c du Plessis b Peterson 16) Oh Ravi. Naughty Ravi. Silly Ravi. Bopara has just thrashed a long hop from Peterson straight to short extra cover, and England are in all sorts of trouble now. In fact they're in almost as much trouble as our publishing system, which is down again. Sorry.

16th over: England 77-3 (target 288; Bopara 6, Morgan 0) Stop me if you think you've read this one before: it's probably Morgan or bust for England. "Been stinking busy at work so have't had a chance to check the OBO all day and get home to find find it's frozen," says Phil Sawyer. "Having fun? Techie types frantically unplugging and plugging wires? Smoke billowing from the keyboard? You locked yourself in the toilets and threatening to go postal if it isn't fixed soon?"

WICKET! England 77-3 (Bell b Peterson 45) I told you Bell was playing well. He has gone to a good delivery from the left-arm spinner Robin Peterson that turned past the edge to hit the stumps as Bell pushed defensively down the wrong line. Bell made a good 45 from 41 balls, but England are in trouble now.

As the budding Poirots and Poirettes among you may have suspected, we've had major technical problems for the last couple of hours. Something about an 'invalid bean definition'. No, seriously. We're very sorry about the lack of updates, and if you contact our commercial department they will refund the 120 minutes you have just spent pressing F5 and cursing Rob Smyth's indolence.

To the match. England are currently 73 for two from 15 overs, chasing a stiff target of 288. Alastair Cook had technical problems too: he fell over a very full-length delivery from Essex's finest, Lonwabo Tsotsobe, and was bowled second ball for nought. Jonathan Trott made 23 before falling to an outrageous catch at long leg from Dean Elgar. Ian Bell was dropped early on, a difficult leaping chance to the keeper AB de Villiers, but has since played some fine strokes.

South Africa's total of 287 for five was largely down to Hashim Amla's stunning 150 from 124 balls. Who says you need to hit sixes in one-day cricket? Amla didn't. There were 16 fours, three threes, twelve twos, 53 singles and only 41 dot balls. The thing is: you do need to hit sixes in one-day cricket, unless you have wrists to die for. This was a very very special innings.

47th over: South Africa 261-4 (Amla 138, du Plessis 9) The preantepenultimate over of the innings costs 14. A low full toss from Bresnan is slugged over midwicket for four by the magnificent Amla. The next ball brings a beautiful piece of cricket. Amla walks across his stumps, looking to whip to leg; Bresnan sees him coming and throws it wide of off stump; so Amla changes his stroke at the last minute to steer it past Kieswetter for four. "Oh brilliant!" exclaims Mike Atherton on Sky. What an innings this has been.

"What do people make of Strauss' decision to play only one county match before departing for India?" says Oliver Smiddy. "Surely playing this week for Middlesex would have been more beneficial, given his abject recent form, than a few extra days' gardening/reading James Anderson's autobiography, "Jimmy: My Story". According to the man himself, the cover (the author brooding at the camera) 'looks great'." I thought it was the right decision. He looked shattered mentally by the time he padded up to Philander, and the need for a break surely outweighed the need for any time in the middle. Not least because a failure would have brought more media scrutiny, and a century would have been belittled because it wasn't in a Test match.

46th over: South Africa 248-4 (Amla 125, du Plessis 8) A very good final over from Samit Patel goes for five, so he ends with figures of 10-0-47-0. "The Beard Liberation Front has said that Hashim Amla's century in the one day international at Southampton today following his triple century in the Oval Test has led to him being awarded the accolade of Cricketing Beard of Summer 2012," says Keith Flett. " BLF Organiser Keith Flett said there has been nothing to match Amla's beard on the cricket field this summer. By contrast follicly challenged England have struggled."

45th over: South Africa 243-4 (Amla 123, du Plessis 6) Amla helps a piece of rubbish from Anderson to fine leg for four, which takes him to 3000 runs in one-day internationals – and he has reached that milestone in 57 innings, 12 faster than the previous record holder, Sir Viv Richards. That, and his career average of 58.88, are staggering statistics. Anderson's eighth over disappears for 12, with Faf du Plessis hustling a cracking pull stroke to the midwicket boundary.

"Isn't that the sort of bag that Nathan Barley would carry?" says Toby Blake. "Maybe it's just because I'm an old geezer, but I find there's something truly dispiriting about retro fashion. Or any fashion, for that matter, but retro is the worst of all. Bowler hats though, I wish they'd come back."

44th over: South Africa 232-4 (Amla 116, du Plessis 1) "Not a good time for Kieswetter to be dropping catches is it – what with Prior battering the door down?" says Rory Taylor. No it's not. He's actually kept pretty well for England this summer but has had a poor day today. I feel a bit sorry for Kieswetter, who has played almost every match for England with his place under scrutiny in the media. In that regard he's almost a spiritual successor to Paul Collingwood. I suppose they're a bit like John Cusack when he goes out with Charlie Nicholson in High Fidelity. The men who never got comfortable.

WICKET! South Africa 230-4 (de Villiers b Swann 28) Swann gets his man this time. De Villiers was beaten by a change of pace and almost yorked himself as he charged down the track. That's a lovely piece of bowling. Swann's Test form isn't great but he continues to do extremely well for England in both limited-overs forms.

43rd over: South Africa 226-3 (Amla 114, de Villiers 25) Here comes Jimmy Anderson. Anything above 280 will be a really stiff target. South Africa might even get 300 here, if de Villiers goes mad. Amla doesn't need to go mad; he quietly destroys attacks, and has just shown remarkable wristwork to flick Anderson behind square for four. There was a vacancy for international cricket's resident rubber-wristed genius when Murali retired. It's fair to say that vacancy has now been filled. Amla has 114 from 104 balls.

"My 15 year old daughter would love that bag," says Howard Fairbrass. "When worn by anyone older than say 28 proceed with caution. Unless you work or live in Shoreditch, sport an ironic beard and ride a fake fixed bike badly in which case the age limit would appear to be about 40."

Pinstripes do look great – see Richie Tenenbaum – but once you get to a certain age you have to accept it's over and that, with the possible exception of work shirts, you've sported your last pinstripe. No more pinstripes for you.

42nd over: South Africa 218-3 (Amla 108, de Villiers 24) A rare mistake from Simon Taufel. de Villiers top edges a reverse sweep at Swann onto his shoulder, from where it loops gently into the hands of Kieswetter. Simon Taufel says not out, however, and because England tried that optimistic review against Duminy earlier on they have no reviews left. England have the face on, Swann in particular, but it's their own fault.

"That's a great bag," says Martin Sinclair. "I'm turning 40 this Saturday (aaiieeee!!!), so the 72 on the front could represent the year of my birth, so I reckon I could get away with it – not as a fashion item but as a memory aid. Therefore, 40 is the age limit for that bag."

41st over: South Africa 212-3 (Amla 105, de Villiers 21) Amla drives Patel down the ground to reach a simply marvellous century from only 96 balls, his 10th in only 59 ODIs. There's an increasing sense that we might be watching one of the all-time greats here, a contender to bat alongside Kallis and Pollock in the middle order of an all-time South African XI. Amla is still only 29 and is going to score an indecent amount of runs in the next seven or eight years. He's a batsman whose serene certainty crushes a bowler's soul by the time he's reached 20 or 30. A decent knock in his next Test innings will make him, for a time at least, the only man in history to average over 50 in Test cricket, ODIs and first-class cricket. He can do brutality, too, and when Patel drops far too short he is slaughtered over midwicket for four.

"The fact that you had to ask inherently means that bag is already a no-go," says Sam Hedges. "About 22 I reckon FWIW." I was going to say 35 but it's the same difference. I'll stick to Millets.

40th over: South Africa 205-3 (Amla 99, de Villiers 20) This time Amla really could have been taken down the leg side. He walked across to Finn and flicked the ball very fine, but Kieswetter couldn't hold a low chance to his left. That's his third drop of the day and probably the least difficult. An ingenious uppercut from Amla beats Bresnan on the third man boundary and takes him to 98, and a single to mid on takes him to within one of yet another century. Much more of this and 2012 will be remembered as the English summer of Amla (and wet shoes). South Africa will be very pleased with that batting Powerplay, with brought 48 from five overs.

In ostracised genius news, Kevin Pietersen has made a century for Surrey at Taunton.

39th over: South Africa 196-3 (Amla 92, de Villiers 18) Amla launches a slower ball from Bresnan high over mid off for four to move into the nerveless nineties. England thought they had him strangled down the leg side next ball, but the umpire Rob Bailey disagreed and so did Hotspot. Bopara makes a fine stop at short midwicket later in the over when de Villiers gets medieval on a short ball from Bresnan.

38th over: South Africa 191-3 (Amla 87, de Villiers 18) Six from Finn's over.

37th over: South Africa 185-3 (Amla 86, de Villiers 14) Samit Patel comes back on. It takes a fair bit of courage for a spinner – a part-time spinner, too, and not a regular in the team – to bowl during a Powerplay. Amla gives him the charge to wave a delivery high over midwicket for four, the only boundary from an over that costs seven.

"KP struggling at Taunton," writes Jason Streets.

36th over: South Africa 178-3 (Amla 81, de Villiers 12) With 35 overs gone South Africa must take their batting Powerplay. De Villiers, who averages a ridiculous 408 in his last eight ODIs and 71 in his last 50, times Finn through midwicket for three. Amla is then beaten by a splendid outswinger as he tries to flick to leg, and an eventful over continues with a stunning straight-driven four from de Villiers. He has raced to 12 from six balls.

In an unrelated development, here's a question: at what age is this bag a no-go?

35rd over: South Africa 167-3 (Amla 80, de Villiers 2) De Villiers tries to run Bresnan to third man but gets it too fine and is dropped by Kieswetter, who was diving so far to his right that he could only punch it for a single. That run takes de Villiers to 5000 in this form of the game.

34th over: South Africa 166-3 (Amla 80, de Villiers 1) The new man is the captain AB de Villiers, so now England are bowling to arguably the best two one-day batsmen in the world. Virat Kohli's fans might legitimately argue otherwise.

WICKET! South Africa 165-3 (Elgar b Swann 15) Swann puts Elgar out of his burgeoning misery with a beautiful delivery that drifts onto middle stump and turns a long way past the edge to hit the stumps. File that under scoreboard pressure – and also smart bowling from Swann, who gave it a lot more air so that it would turn precisely 6.5 degrees past the edge. Elgar made 15 from 28 balls in fairly difficult circumstances. He probably wasn't helped by the fact the bloke at the other end is batting like a man who invented batting.

33rd over: South Africa 164-2 (Amla 79, Elgar 15) England miss another run-out chance, this time to get rid of Elgar, who would have been out had Cook hit the stumps from mid off. When Bresnan overpitches later in the over, Amla hammers a gorgeous extra cover drive for four. A cut for three more takes him to 79 from 74 balls. It's been a masterful performance from the best one-day batsman in the world. Not just the attacking strokes, either: only 25 of those 74 have been dot balls.

32nd over: South Africa 153-2 (Amla 71, Elgar 12) Elgar drives Swann high in the air, with the ball landing safely on the leg side. That might be a mixed blessing for South Africa. At the other end Amla is scoring almost at will – just two dot balls in the last seven overs – and ends the over by driving Swann beautifully through extra cover for three.

31st over: South Africa 144-2 (Amla 66, Elgar 8) Elgar is going a little slowly, with eight from 18 balls. It's always difficult when you're playing your first innings in international cricket to balance the needs of himself and the team. Unless you're Shahid Afridi.

30th over: South Africa 141-2 (Amla 63, Elgar 8) Amla slog-sweeps Swann disdainfully for four and then flicks uncomfortably close to Morgan to midwicket. There's a half chance off the last delivery when Amla takes an iffy single to Anderson round the corner. He would have been out with a direct hit at the bowler's end but the ball whistled past the stumps. South Africa are in a fine position now – even just a run a ball takes them to a competitive 261.

"Right, can I just double check that moral from England's failed review?" says Matt Dony. "Is it to 'Always make the right decisions'? If so, yes, you're right. I'm glad someone finally had the courage to say it." What can I say? Where angels fear to assert the bleedin' obvious, I rush in.

29th over: South Africa 134-2 (Amla 57, Elgar 7) Elgar gets his first boundary in international cricket, dragging a poor delivery from Bopara round the corner for four. "This Elgar chap," says Jason Streets, "is a bit of an enigma." No.

28th over: South Africa 128-2 (Amla 56, Elgar 2) Amla premeditates a lap for a couple of Swann. Kieswetter ran to leg, realising what Amla was going to do, but couldn't quite get in position to attempt what would have been an amazing catch. A bit like this one.

27th over: South Africa 124-2 (Amla 53, Elgar 1) Ravi Bopara comes into the attack. He has a fine recent record with the ball in ODIs and took four for 47 in the recent Australia series. With Elgar feeling his way into international cricket, Bopara's first over is a quiet one that goes for three singles.

"The finest piece of Benaudian understatement," says Matt Biss, "is clearly 18 seconds in to this clip." Haha, that is fantastic.

26th over: South Africa 121-1 (Amla 51, Elgar 0) The new boy Dean Elgar is the new batsman. "Speaking of batsmen with superhuman one-day averages, I give you Michael Bevan who finished his ODI career with an average of 53.58 from 232 matches," says SB Tang. "With four needed to win off the last ball in a one-dayer against the Windies at the SCG in 1996, Bevan drove Roger Harper straight down the ground for four to send a nation into delirium. Here's Bill Lawry's commentary. That's when the one-day game peaked in Oz. The moment was so iconic that the then ACB (now Cricket Australia) and Channel Nine replayed it endlessly in cricket ads for the better part of the following decade."

WICKET! South Africa 121-2 (Duminy run out 14) Jimmy Anderson had a bad Test series in the field but he's back to his best here. Amla flicked the new bowler Swann into the leg side and set off, thinking it was past Anderson at square leg. It wasn't. Anderson smoothly stopped the ball, got to his feet and threw it to Kieswetter, who broke the stumps with Duminy halfway down the pitch.

25th over: South Africa 118-1 (Amla 50, Duminy 12) Amla reaches a typically soothing half-century from just 54 balls, with five fours.

24th over: South Africa 112-1 (Amla 48, Duminy 8) Duminy gets his first boundary with a pristine extra cover drive that teases and beats Patel on the cover boundary. "Is Brian Close the hardest sportsman ever?" says William Hardy. "I remember when I was a kid reading a story about him fielding at short leg and someone pulling a ball that ricocheted off his helmetless head and went for 4. Being a mere slip of a lad of 28, he was way before my time, but he appears to have been, for want of a better phrase, 'nails'." He would definitely make a Joy of Six: Hard Sportsmen. I reckon if Brian Close and Dave Mackay had started an arm-wrestle in 1967, it'd still be going on now.

REVIEW! South Africa 105-1 (Duminy not out 4) England have wasted their only review. The ball from Anderson to Duminy that prompted a big LBW appeal clearly pitched outside leg stump, and therefore the fact that Duminy was plumb in front was completely irrelevant. But Anderson and Kieswetter convinced Alastair Cook to go for the review, and now England have no reviews left. There's a moral in that story, kids.

23rd over: South Africa 104-1 (Amla 47, Duminy 4) "Yes, that is about it 'really', but there is little point in me or anyone else writing in to debate something if that is the riposte..." says Andrew Hurley. I did think about knocking up a quick 800-word piece on how I learned to stop worrying and love Tim Bresnan, but I'm quite busy with this match. There is a discussion as to what extent Bresnan's cheese sandwich influences opinions of his worth as a cricketer, but it's difficult to do that in the middle of a match. I'm not entirely sure what your point is. You think he's crap, fine. But all you offered was a couple of statistics which were so obviously not representative of the full story that it took about 0.4 seconds to find a pair of statistics with which to respond.

22nd over: South Africa 101-1 (Amla 46, Duminy 2) Anderson replaces Bresnan. A back-foot drive from Duminy is saved brilliantly by Morgan at backward point, and there's just a single from the over.

"Classic commentary: 'done him between the legs,'" says Nagarjun K. "Benaud on Warne bowling Basit Ali." That was such a brilliant dismissal. He did between the legs and between the ears.

21st over: South Africa 99-1 (Amla 45, Duminy 2) Amla is dropped by Kieswetter! It was a sharp chance, as they all are standing up to the stumps, and Kieswetter didn't get down quickly enough. He might have done better as it was only a thin edge. There is another near miss later in the over when a delivery stops on the pitch and is looped just short of point by Amla. Patel has bowled nicely thus far and has figures of 5-0-20-0.

"The most vivid commentary I remember is from long back," says Jerry Dawson, "that over from Holding to Boycott on TMS. I haven't heard it again since, but even at the time it was obvious that it was something a bit special. I'd watched the Test the previous summer at Old Trafford and could imagine that massive silent run-up starting from near the boundary, the ball moving so fast it was invisible to the spectator before suddenly it clapped into keeper Murray's hands. And he'd be stood damn near on the opposite boundary. It was terrifying just to see or hear, I can't imagine what it would be like to face that (without even a helmet!)." I'm not sure what all the fuss was about.

20th over: South Africa 95-1 (Amla 42, Duminy 1) Dean Elgar was down to come in at No3 but in fact it's JP Duminy. Amla opens the face to glide Bresnan for four. This bloke secretes class.

"Not intended to be a told you so at all, no interest in that," says Andrew Hurley. "I do have an interest however in getting this vastly overrated player out of the England teams with so much bowling talent around. In 2012, Bresnan's Test average is 46.56, and his ODI economy rate is 5.45 (Finn 4.01, Anderson 4.57). His continued, almost assumed selection, makes little sense and doesn't, unfortunately, reflect particularly well on Flower/Selectors." Against that, his ODI average this year is better than Anderson's (he bowls in the batting Powerplay so will inevitably have a higher economy rate) and his overall Test average is better than both Anderson's and Stuart Broad's. This is without mentioning his batting. Look, I can't be bothered having this discussion, in truth. I like him, you don't like him, Andy Flower likes him a lot. That's about it really.

WICKET! South Africa 89-1 (Smith c Kieswetter b Bresnan 52) Tim Bresnan makes an important breakthrough for England. Smith, on the charge, top edged a roundhouse blow miles in the air, and Kieswetter ran back a fair way towards the boundary to take a very well judged catch.

19th over: South Africa 89-0 (Smith 52, Amla 37) I spent most of that over from Samit Patel trying to calculate approximately how much of my life I have spent OBOing the middle overs of a one-day international. I'll be back with you just as soon as I can see through the tears.

"No emails… well I only just remembered there was a game on," says Damian Sefton. "Just imagine if we'd cashed these five ODIs in for a test. Sigh." Too right. We'd have given South Africa a serious dead rubber kicking in that dead rubber, no question.

18th over: South Africa 86-0 (Smith 50, Amla 36) England have taken the bowling Powerplay now. They badly need a wicket and inviting attacking strokes might do that. Bresnan returns, as usual during a Powerplay, and his first over back costs five runs. The last of those brings Smith to an important fifty from 70 balls.

17th over: South Africa 81-0 (Smith 48, Amla 33) Patel's third over is milked for four. Smith is dominating the scoring but Amla's strike rate is much higher, 94 to Smith's 72.

16th over: South Africa 77-0 (Smith 46, Amla 31) England are waiting to take a wicket before they take their bowling Powerplay. At the moment it looks as if they will be taking the Powerplay sometime in the year 2016. Smith and Amla are in control.

"The greatest commentary of all has to be Bill Lawry's offering as Dean Headley ripped through the Aussie middle order during the 387 hour final session at the MCG in 1998," says Ali Walker. "'SIX FOR ONE FORTY! HICK TAKES THE CATCH; THIS GAME IS ALIVE AND KICKING!'"

15th over: South Africa 73-0 (Smith 44, Amla 29) Graeme Smith launches into an ugly but effective reverse sweep, swiping it just over short fine leg for a couple. The next ball from Patel beats him on the inside but doesn't quite turn enough to hit the off stump.

"I have sent many emails to you over the past 12 months on the subject of Bresnan, and how I believe he has been extremely flattered to play for England as much as he has," says Andrew Hurley. "I feel he is really being exposed now, and can't understand why they played him instead of Woakes, who has enormous potential, and is a genuine all-rounder." I'm sure it's not meant that way – tone can be misread with the written word – but that email almost sounds you're saying 'Told you so!' about something that hasn't happened yet.

14th over: South Africa 70-0 (Smith 41, Amla 29) Five singles from Swann's second over. After a slow start, South Africa have scored 45 from the last eight. "Not commentary per se but a brilliant clip from David 'Bumble' Lloyd talking about that moment," says Nick Barrett. "Still brings tears to the eyes."

13th over: South Africa 65-0 (Smith 38, Amla 27) Samit Patel replaces Tim Bresnan. South Africa are playing very well now, Amla in particular. When Patel gives him a snifter of width, Amla flays it through extra cover for four with such fast hands. Patel's response is a slightly scary jaffa that drifts onto middle stump and turns a long way past both the outside edge and the off stump. We guessed this pitch would turn but that went a mile – well, 6.7 degrees to be precise. South Africa have one specialist spinner and about eight part-time spinners in their side. If it keeps turning like that England might think about giving Kevin Pietersen a few oh.

"If I may broaden the scope to written commentary, I currently have Bull's OBO entry of that Ponting wicket pinned up by my desk," says Tom Hopkins. "That may, or may not, make me a Winner." Here is that memorable piece of Bullwork.

WICKET! Ponting 0 c Swann b Anderson (Australia 0-2) Ponting has gone first ball! I don't believe it! An unbelievable start for England! Ponting has gone for a golden duck in his 150th Test and England have gone wild. Stop the clocks! Hold the front pages! Shout it from the rooftops! Australia are in utter disarray! It was a lovely ball from Anderson, full and swinging away. Ponting prodded at it and the ball moved just enough to take the edge and shot straight to second slip where Swann took the catch.

12th over: South Africa 59-0 (Smith 38, Amla 21) Graeme Swann has probably had a few nightmares about Hashim Amla in recent weeks, and now he's on to bowl at him. Amla – stop me if you think you've read this one before – gets across outside off stump to work the first ball for a single before Smith sweeps a two and a single. Amla drives the last ball to mid on for a single. At the moment it seems like he could play Swann with an imaginary stick of rhubarb.

"Is 'blootered' a real word," says Richard Mansell, "or one that you have just made up in boredom, hoping to attract emails from pedants like me?" Nothing to do with me.

11th over: South Africa 54-0 (Smith 35, Amla 19) If David Lynch made a film about an English cricket fan driven doolally in the summer of 2012 by his twisted dreams*, that dream would involve Graeme Smith and Hashim Amla scoring run after run after run. They milk five more from Bresnan's second over. SILENCIO.

* Mulholland Cover Drive! The Straight Bat Story! Spin Twin Peaks! Lost Highway Outside Leg Stump And Therefore Can't Be Given Out LBW! Honk! Honk? C'mon, honk with me now.

10th over: South Africa 49-0 (Smith 33, Amla 16) Finn restores a bit of order with a quiet over that costs just a couple. "A quick question: what is the point of Craig Kieswetter?" says Ed Wilson. "This weekend Matt Prior proved yet again that he can play exciting aggressive cricket, so why not let him ply his trade in all forms? Or do we have a reciprocal agreement whereby we must include a lapsed South African in every team fielded…"

Prior has had loads of chances in ODIs and never really done it. That said, I was at Canterbury yesterday and he looked what he is, a class act who is getting better and better. He'll get another go at some stage I'm sure, but for now England think that Kieswetter is a developing young talent (his keeping has improved a lot) who has the rare and vital ability to hit sixes. He has hit 27 in 39 ODIs; Prior has hit six in 68. I don't know that it would be fair to drop Kieswetter at this stage.

9th over: South Africa 47-0 (Smith 32, Amla 15) Bresnan replaces Anderson and is edged right through second slip for four by Graeme Smith. There are 14 from the over in total, with Smith savaging a cut into the ground and up over Morgan at point for four more. Another snick through the slips, this time from Amla, brings another boundary. Sir Ian Botham isn't entirely impressed. After making 15 from the first six overs, South Africa have blootered 31 from the last three.

"What is amazing about this clip is how David Gower completely regains his composure," says Jon Dean. "We all know how painful this is, but he instantly sounds calm and reasoned. But then at least we do see him slapping Nasser, so it's nice to know he's not always in pure control."

8th over: South Africa 33-0 (Smith 23, Amla 10) Smith was starting to look frustrated after three more dot balls but gets some oxygen by crunching a rare poor delivery from Finn off the pads and through midwicket for four. He gets four more off the last ball, whapping a low full toss to the trusty midwicket boundary. Ten from the over and 18 from the last two.

"Richie's world-weary 'That's got to be rock bottom for Rick McCosker' (Old Trafford 77? Couldn't find it on YouTube/Robelinda) summed it up," says Jon Salisbury. Richie's disgust here is a thing of beauty.

7th over: South Africa 23-0 (Smith 13, Amla 10) Hardly any emails so far today. Was it something I said? I didn't mean to hurt you, baby. Amla hits the field with a couple of drives off Anderson and then inside edges a filthy slap just past the stumps and away for four. He ends the over with a more deliberate boundary, pinged decisively over midwicket.

"Here is Richie Benaud explaining what to do when landing on the ball," says Chris Bourne. "No commentator gives better value with fewer words."

6th over: South Africa 15-0 (Smith 13, Amla 2) There's the first boundary of the innings from Smith, muscled to the left of mid off. Finn knocks the stumps down during his bowling action later in the over, although it's not called dead ball by Simon Taufel. Four from the over. Amla has only faced seven of the 36 balls thus far.

"I've a special fondness for Athers commentating on Ricky Ponting's early dismissal at Adelaide," says David Hopkins. "I think it's to do with his uncharacteristic bark of excitement, and the way it softly echoed my waking up the neighbours at gone midnight."

5th over: South Africa 11-0 (Smith 9, Amla 2) Anderson beats Smith again – does that thing have an outside edge – before being worked to leg, first for two and then for a quick single to Samit Patel. This has been a fine start from England.

"Why isn't Smith captain of SA?" says Elliot Jacobs. I'm not certain, but presumably just to keep him fresh for Test cricket, and also to ease the eventual succession at Test level. It's a miracle that he has done the Test job for almost a decade – look at the average tenure of England Test captains – even before you consider he was one-day captain for eight years. His resilience and longevity are awe-inspiring really.

4th over: South Africa 8-0 (Smith 6, Amla 2) The sun has reappeared in Southampton. England's fine start continues with Finn angling one past Smith's outside edge and then having a shout for LBW turned down by Simon Taufel. There were doubts over height, line and where it pitched. That aside, as the old joke goes, it was close.

3rd over: South Africa 7-0 (Smith 5, Amla 2) Amla takes a tight single to mid off but gets away with it because of a slip from Frank Spencer's Samit Patel. Smith is beaten again on the drive. He is walking miles across his stumps to Anderson, so far that you can sometimes see leg and a bit of middle before the ball is bowled. Anderson and Smith have had so many fascinating duels since they first met in the Natwest Series in 2003, a hot young thing with a dubious haircut and an eerily mature 11-year-old who had just been made captain of South Africa.

In other news, William Hardy is the only person bothering to email me at the moment – harumph – but it's no problem when he delivers gems like this.

2nd over: South Africa 3-0 (Smith 2, Amla 1) Steven Finn often starts with a very full length in ODIs, happy to invite the drive, but here he goes much shorter, jagging the ball back in to Hashim Amla. Two from the over.

"This has always been one of my favourites," says William Hardy. "Maybe it's because, as a flighty, mentally weak opening bowler myself, I always felt for him, and less to do with Mark Nicholas." Mark Nicholas had a sensational Ashes series in 2005. It's sacrilege I know, given that Richie Benaud was commentating at the time, but part of me wishes Nicholas had been on for the final ball of the Edgbaston Test. I wonder what he'd have come up with.

1st over: South Africa 1-0 (Smith 1, Amla 0) Jimmy Anderson starts with an excellent over that costs just one run. There is plenty of movement in the air, and Graeme Smith is beaten by a lovely awayswinger fourth ball. As Mike Atherton says on Sky, in a Test match Smith can leave those deliveries all day, but here he has to force the pace and go after the ball even if England hang it wide of off stump. The fifth ball is a fine inswinger that Smith drags for a single.

Here comes the players. South Africa's opening pair in ODIs is Graeme Smith and Hashim Amla. If you think Amla is good in Tests, you should see his ODI record – his extraordinary average of 56.49 is the greatest in history among those from a Test-playing nation who has played a minimum of five ODIs. (Ryan ten Doeschate is above Amla but, brilliant player though he is, most of his games are against Associate sides.) That said, I can confidently assert Amla won't score 311 not out today.

12.53pm Steve Pye has sent in his latest blog, which is about great commentary moments of the 1980s. In the spirit of which, why not nominate your favourite piece of cricket commentary? (With a link if possible.) The less obvious the better, although the instant serotonin of Johnners and Aggers is inevitably our first port of call. This also does unspeakable things to the spine.

In a hilarious development, it's raining. Dear me. I'll never speak to Mystic Maisie again. It's pretty light, however, so we should still start on time.

Lucky ground department Everybody's favourite Irish genius averages 137 in ODIs on this ground. That's not all. Alastair Cook averages 91 here, Ian Bell 87 and Craig Kieswetter 61. So when they all get first-ballers and England lose by 347 runs, you know whose house you should burn down: Statsguru's.

South Africa have won the toss and will bat first. That was a fairly straightforward decision on a surface that usually takes turn as the match progresses. The pitch is the reason England have broken the golden rule that you should never change a no-resulting team: Samit Patel comes in for Chris Woakes. That was a very late decision apparently. Poor Woakes. He waits a year for a recall and then gets dropped without facing, bowling or fielding a ball. Maybe his banter stinks or his armpits are unfunny or something. South Africa are unchanged.

England Cook (c), Bell, Trott, Bopara, Morgan, Kieswetter (wk), Patel, Bresnan, Swann, Anderson, Finn.

South Africa Amla, Smith, Elgar, de Villiers (c/wk), Duminy, du Plessis, McLaren, Parnell, Peterson, M Morkel, Tsotsobe.

Preamble Hello. There were times during Friday's Cardiff rainwatch that it was tempting to wonder whether this would become the first five-match ODI series to end 0-0. But the sun is shining, the weather is sweet at the Ageas Bowl today, and even Mystic Maisie, our fragrant Palms and Tea Leaves Editor, is predicting 100 overs. Woop woop! Come on, woop with me now.

The match – or an unexpected thunderstorm or such ferocity as to threaten the space/time continuum and the world's most immovable toupées, never mind our chances of getting 100 overs – will begin at 1pm.