AS One Direction's Harry Styles swaggered on stage at the Brit Awards on Wednesday night, he looked into the crowd, turned his palms to the sky and gave the classic "come on then" football fan gesture.
Sitting on the front row only a few feet away, two Britpop legends responded in unison — bursting his bubble with booze-soaked derision.
Blur frontman Damon Albarn shouted "f*** off" and Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher raised two middle fingers at the young pretender.
It was with a smile and a wink, nothing more than a monkey rub or Chinese burn for a little rascal trying to embody the proud British rock'n'roll heritage.
But the sentiment summed up a lukewarm Brit Awards.
1989: SAMANTHA FOX and Mick Fleetwood go down in history for their shambolic live hosting of the show. The autocue repeatedly gets stuck, the presenters fluff their lines, miss their cues and Sam introduces Boy George as the Four Tops.
Hats off to the organisers for making the night more professional, more polished and slicker than it has ever been — packed with live music and less preamble.
Sadly, some of the personality has been lost along the Thames on the way from Earls Court to the cavernous O2.
Emeli Sande, Ben Howard, Mumford & Sons, Lana Del Rey and Muse are all very "nice" people — but they don't write headlines like the old guard.
1992: KLF frontman Bill Drummond fires blanks from a machine gun at the audience during the group's performance. They had apparently planned to pour sheep's blood on the crowd. A dead ewe was later found dumped outside the afterparty.
Over the years the night has been synonymous with hellraisers overstepping the mark.
Mick Fleetwood, Sam Fox, Brandon Block, The KLF, Jarvis Cocker, Geri Halliwell, Chumbawamba, Liam Gallagher and Robbie Williams — they all made their mark in the event's history.
As Brits, we are defined by our ability to laugh at ourselves. Our personality and sense of humour set us aside from everyone else.
1996: JARVIS COCKER storms the stage as Michael Jackson performs Earth Song with a choir of children. The Pulp frontman pretends to moon Jacko and break wind before being led off and arrested. Ex-solicitor Bob Mortimer pleads his case at the police station.
A few years ago Mrs Merton brought the house down when she asked the audience if anyone had seen Charlie because everyone backstage was asking for him.
It was risky — and got a huge laugh. The team of scriptwriters and terrified producers are too afraid to let the host or presenters say anything like that now.
1997: THE audience gets an eyeful of Geri Halliwell – firstly when she wears her tiny Union Jack dress as the Spice Girls sing Who Do You Think You Are – then later when a boob pops out of her low-cut red gown as she goes on stage to collect the band's award.
There was a massive hoo-ha about Adele having her speech cut last year. She got a chance to have her full say on Wednesday night — and what an anti-climax that was.
We waited 365 days for her to say the square root of nothing? Rubbish.
Gobby rock and pop stars, and cheeky comedians — almost always drunk — trading insults or acting up for the cameras are what make us different from America.
1998: JOHN PRESCOTT gets a bucket of iced water tipped over him by Chumbawamba's Danbert Nobacon. Later the band says if the then-Deputy PM turns up at the Brits "to make Labour seem cool and trendy, then he deserves all we can throw at him."
The Brits is all getting too slick for the benefit of a TV audience. The spontaneity has gone.
On Wednesday night the biggest controversy seemed to be James Corden using the word "b*stard" before the watershed.
And oddly enough, he was describing Simon Cowell. Back in the day he would have received a standing ovation for the gag.
For years Cowell refused to go to the music industry knees-up and once rang half the production team ranting because one of his acts was overlooked.
2000: DRUNKEN DJ Brandon Block goes up to collect a gong that isn't his and gets into a row with Ronnie Wood, who is trying to present the award. Ronnie ends up chucking a drink over him. The same year, Robbie Williams offers £100k to fight Liam Gallagher.
He was also frightened of the reception he would receive from some of the rock stars.
Not any more.
He was holding court on Wednesday as his creation, One Direction, received awards made up entirely for their benefit.
The "Global Success" special award?
I think the world of the lads and admire their success, but that is the only reason the viewing figures were such a hit.
My brother sent me a text after their performance bemoaning our decision to split up our Stylophone group 25 years ago — we could have been contenders.
2007: RUSSELL BRAND is a controversial choice as host and he lives down to expectations. The comedian's jokes about friendly fire in Iraq, genitalia, drug use and the Queen prompt hundreds of complaints from outraged viewers.
By Cowell's own admission, the big night was missing something.
He said: "It did miss a little bit of rock'n'roll tonight.
"Ben Howard and Emeli Sande are wonderful artists but they aren't going to do anything outrageous, are they? You do sometimes need a rock band to do something crazy."
2008: THE Arctic Monkeys use their speech to rant about performing arts college the Brit School. TV bosses later pull it from the pre-recorded show. The same night Sharon Osbourne rips into Vic Reeves, accusing him of being too drunk to present an award.
Cast your mind back to 1996 and the Best Album category featuring Oasis, Blur, Pulp and Radiohead. Jarvis Cocker, two Gallaghers and an Albarn. Not a bad recipe for entertainment.
Then again, Jimmy Nail was up for Best Male. Nostalgia can be selective on the taste front.
Speaking on Richard Bacon's 5 Live show yesterday, James Corden offered his thoughts on why the Brits has become more sanitised.
He said: "Up until three years ago, if you ran a newspaper the Brits would provide you with six, seven, eight pages of content.
"If you run a newspaper, Jarvis Cocker running on stage when Michael Jackson's performing and then being arrested and Bob Mortimer representing him — it's an amazing story. A gift. Some people say they miss that. But what is being missed there is the point of the whole show.
2010: LIAM GALLAGHER gives a rambling and foul-mouthed acceptance speech after Oasis nabbed the prize for the best album of the past 30 years. He throws his microphone into the crowd, causing a ten-minute delay. Host Peter Kay calls him a "knobhead".
"The show is put on and made to showcase British music and sell British music so people buy those albums and that money will go back into record companies to invest in other British artists who will then inspire another generation of musicians.
"So that's a very much bigger picture.
"But I understand that feeling of, 'Wasn't it great when Brandon Block ran on stage'. My question is: Was it great? Or just great in retrospect?"
I think the rock'n'roll shenanigans inspired just as many kids as the live performances did.
2012: ADELE is delivering her acceptance speech for Best Album when host James Corden cuts her off on the instruction of TV bosses. Furious Adele responds by flipping the finger. She later rants at the lack of respect she had been shown by "the suits."
Going back to Noel Gallagher, he had some wise words about the Brits back in 2001.
Presenting a lifetime achievement to U2, he said: "This award ceremony, over the years, has been accused of not having a sense of humour.
"But when you see A1 winning Best Newcomer you know that someone's taking the p*** somewhere."
Well, The Stone Roses missed out on a nomination in the Best Live category despite entertaining 500,000 people last summer in fields up and down the country.
The Rolling Stones never showed up, and if they had they should have closed the show.
The opportunities were there to make the night less bland but nobody has been sacked, arrested or gone to hospital — so well done everyone.
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