As we said before, Barcelona's 5-0 domination of Real Madrid on Wednesday was a bit of madness. The combination of Jose Mourinho's worst ever defeat, Barca scoring with ease, 13 total bookings and Ronaldo and Ramos going around shoving people, the match begged us to ask that question we keep coming back to: What if it continued?
97' -- Bojan wins game of Rock, Paper, Scissors among Barca XI to decide who gets to score the team's 6th goal. Goalkeeper Victor Valdes calls dibs on the 7th.
101' -- Jose Mourinho realizes that his Special One power ring has been replaced with a common mood ring. It explodes.
108' -- Ronaldo regrets shoving Pep Guardiola earlier in the match. Wishes he spilled coffee on his outfit instead.
115' -- Mesut Ozil forgets that Mesut Ozil is at the game.
120' -- Sitting on the bench with one eye closed and his finger in his ear, David Villa scores his third goal.
123' -- Rafa Benitez laughs at Mourinho's misfortune, painfully shooting milk out of his nose as he does so. But he doesn't care. He doesn't care.
129' -- Back in the dressing room, Sergio Ramos shoves himself in the face just to see how it feels. He feels violated.
133' -- Xabi Alonso breaks out in a cold sweat, fearful that Nigel De Jong might show up at any time.
142' -- Lionel Messi only half-heartedly makes defenders look stupid as his mind drifts to the Shuttle Adventure Lego playset Pep promised him if Barca win. He decides he will fly it to the Lego moon and then walk really slow like he's actually there. He high-fives himself.
145' -- Gerard Pique spontaneously starts to bleed.
148' -- Jose Mourinho declares that this has all been a dream and none of it is real. He insists that it is all just a figment of everyone's collective imagination. Victor Valdes physically removes him from the stadium. Pep Guardiola defecates gold.
(Programming Note: To accommodate this special edition of "If it continued...", this week's DT Exclusive will appear on Wednesday.)
Photo: AP
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